Someone I Lost
by Lady Gisborne 15
Summary: Annie was his child-hood friend, and dare he believe, his first love? But she was gone now. Whether she was dead or alive, she wasn't coming back...or so he thinks. For the woman he lost will once again return to his life and she will haunt him more in the present than she ever did in the past. Ben/Annie
1. Chapter 1

_**Initially, I wasn't going to even put this story up until the New Year. But...just...I couldn't wait! I am so excited about it!**_

_** Basically I decided to write this for two reasons. One. What the heck ever happened to Annie, anyway? Like. Seriously? And two. There are so few completed Ben Linus stories out there that I just had to help expand the fandom. **_

_** Not to mention, I'm simply in love with Benjamin Linus from LOST. **_

_** I hope you all enjoy this story!**_

_** And many thanks to my friend Jillian who designed the cover art! Love you girlie.**_

_** Disclaimer: I don't own LOST. Obviously. I don't own the Island. Gladly. I don't own Annie. Sadly. And I don't own Ben. Unfortunately. Sorry.**_

_**XxxxXXXxXXxxXXxx**_

_ 49 days after the crash..._

"Why did you do this?" She accused as she tried to contain the many emotions within her that were bubbling to release. "Why did you bring me out here?"

"What?" He scoffed. "You mean instead of his wife?" He knew. Dear God, how long had he known of the affair? She watched as he turned to walk back up the hill.

Anger surged within Juliet. What if this hadn't been just another accident? What if Goodwin had died for a reason? "You did this," she let slip out. He turned back around, surprised that she should say such a thing. "You brought him out here because you knew this would happen!" She continued to accuse, her voice rising to a crescendo before she ended in a whisper. "You wanted him to die!...Why?" For all her reasoning, she could not understand.

"Why?" Ben seemed shocked that she did not know his motives. How could such a beautiful and smart woman not be able to deduce such a simple explanation? "You're asking me why?!" With each step back down the hill, his voice rose. "After everything I've done to get you here, after everything I've done to keep you here, how could you possibly not understand-" Dare he admit his innermost thoughts and feelings? "- That you're _MINE_!"

His thoughts were out in the open and there was absolutely nothing he could do to take them back. Juliet just stared at him in horror.

Just as quickly as his anger had come, it dissipated into nothingness. He refused to think of himself as in the wrong, as unjustified, for his actions. No matter if Juliet looked at him with hate or fear, he would never let her see him as anymore unnerved than she just had.

"Take as much time as you need," he told her softly, before he walked away so that she could grieve over her lost love and her lost life combined.

Ben had taken away her family, her life, her past and future, and her lover. But did he feel sorry? Did he feel guilty? Remorseful? No. Because Benjamin Linus hardly ever felt anything anymore.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben lifted his head to smell the exotic island breeze. It carried along the rich aromas of dirt, rain, and the ever-shining sun. Two days he had been on this island. In all that time, he had hardly seen his father. With new employment, he knew his dad was busy, too busy even to check and see how his own son was adjusting to the change.

Ben was nine years old. He hadn't had many friend back home. Quite honestly, he hadn't really had _any_. So, moving from Portland, Oregon to the island really didn't affect Ben too much. He was just as alone here as he had been back in Oregon.

He was sitting idly on the swing, letting his legs dangle as he swung back and forth. He leaned his head back and smelled the air again. There was something Ben liked about the smell, something that felt warm and inviting.

"Hi. I remember you," a small voice interrupted his thoughts and he sat back up as fast as he could, all feelings of relaxation and comfort gone as he stared at the newcomer before him. "You were the boy who came on the submarine, right?"

Ben recognized her immediately as the girl he had met when his dad had been enlisted into his working assignments. How could he not remember her? She was one of the small hand-full of people who had actually made an effort to talk with him, and here she was again. All he could do in reply was nod his head. This seemed to be a good enough answer for her, though, and she smiled as she sat down in the swing next to him.

"Is your dad working?"

Ben, still staring straight ahead, nodded again.

"What do you do all day?" She was answered with a shrug. She didn't seem perturbed. "Well, you should come to our school. You would like it. The teacher's really nice."

Ben turned to face her and saw that she was grinning at him. He watched as her red hair blew in the breeze. He was speechless, tongue-tied. He had never really been involved in a conversation before. He never really opened his mouth. So, he just nodded.

She cocked her head. "You don't talk much, do ya?" Ben began to inwardly panic. She was accusing him of his silence, she was finally realizing that something was wrong with him, just as everybody, at one time or another, realized about him. But, then, the girl surprised him again. "That's okay." She smiled. "I'll just talk and you can listen." Then, she kicked her feet up and began to swing.

Ben smiled in thanks and kicked his feet up too. For the first time in his life, he had found a friend.

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_** I hope you loved it! Please tell me how much you enjoyed it by writing me a review!**_

_** And for all of you who are not aware, me and funnygirl00 are heading up a petition demanding the right for the writers on this site to be able to delete any reviews that they wish to not appear on their stories. Many of us, including myself, have recently gotten hit by an onslaught of disgusting and pornographic spammers. If you wish to add your name to the petition then PM me and show your support!**_

_** Thanks!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm not expecting a ton of feedback from this story, considering it's such a small fandom anyway. But I'm proud to be posting and I figured that since the last chapter was so short, I needed to post another!**_

_** Please leave me a review, guys! They honestly mean the world to me :)**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

___51 days after the crash..._

Ben closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but he found the small mercy was not afforded to him. He tried to concentrate on the black nothingness around him. But the silence was too silent. It was stifling.

Throwing his head back against his pillow, he groaned with frustration. He couldn't get Juliet's voice out of his head. It rang clear and true through his skull. And the more he ran the voice through his head, the more uncertainty began to course through his veins. Uncertainty that he had perhaps done something wrong.

Guilt began to slowly creep into his soul. Guilt for ruining yet another person's life. And that person was the woman he had thought he had loved. For that love, that _need_, he had destroyed the man she, in turn, had professed to love. Guilt was not foreign to Ben, but it certainly wasn't frequent. He didn't allow himself to feel such a trifling emotion, but sometimes it crept up on him unawares.

So, he quickly pressed back the feeling until it was only a small throbbing. It became dull and next to nothing.

Instead, he found that when he closed his eyes again a new face flashed before his mind and a new voice rang in his ears: the face and the voice of the one woman who had caused him more quilt and more remorse than anyone else. The woman with soft red curls.

Annie.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Mr. Linus? Sir?" The nurse called the man out of his dream-like reverie. It was slow and painful, but he began to come back to the land of the living. To Roger Linus, being conscious was far more painful than being asleep, in his mind he could be locked away from all death and loss and grief. Being awake was like a living hell. He said nothing to the nurse, nor did she expect him too. After all, she had just told him only an hour ago that his wife had died. She smiled comfortingly at him, but Roger was numb and indifferent. "Mr. Linus, you have a beautiful, health baby boy. He's a little small, but that's to be expected for someone who decided to come into this world a little early." Roger still said nothing, just stared blankly at the wall in front of him. The nurse frowned slightly at his lack of response. "Would you like to hold him?" She pushed.

For the first time, Roger looked over at her. He noticed the small bundle in her arms and was silent for a moment, staring at it as if it were something foreign to him. Finally, he gave a small nod of his head, and the nurse smiled at his acceptance, before gently laying the baby in his arms. Roger looked down at his son for the first time and he physically flinched when he noticed just how much the child resembled Emily. It was like a slap to the face. Because Emily was dead, and this baby was all that was left in her place. They would have made good parents, they had been overjoyed at the news, and had anxiously anticipated the birth of their first child. It was awful, Roger thought, how things could change in nearly an instant.

"What's his name?" The nurse interrupted his cloud of thoughts yet again.

"Benjamin," Roger whispered, almost gently for a second. Then, his face grew hard and emotionless once again. "Now take him away," he commanded coldly.

"Excuse me, sir?" It was clear that she didn't understand.

"Take. Him. Away." Roger growled through clenched teeth as he thrust the baby, a bit too roughly, into the woman's arms. Benjamin began to cry. The nurse shot Roger a look of surprise and disgust, which Roger didn't see because he had once again taken to staring blankly at the wall, and then she walked away, taking the waling and unwanted baby away.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

_ 54 days after the crash..._

Juliet still wasn't talking to him. When he did see her, which was very rare anyway, she wouldn't so much as look at him. She would bow her head and avert her eyes. If Ben didn't know any better, he would think that she was afraid of him, which wouldn't be a huge surprise. Ben acted as if it didn't bother him, just kept walking, ignoring her as much as she ignored him, and pretended as if it didn't hurt him to see Juliet treating him as if he were dead. He was grateful though that the guilt he felt on her behalf had numbed to nonexistence. Ben really couldn't afford to feel guilt over his decisions. It would never get him anywhere.

Ben groaned in pain, straightened up, and groped at his lower back. He winced. A sharp stab of pain, and another groan. The bouts were becoming more frequent. He heard a shuffle of feet coming down the hall and quickly masked the expression of pain. Just in time too. He picked up a book and pretended to read.

"Dad," his daughter appeared in the doorway, "I'm going now." She turned to leave his office but he stopped her with a question.

"Where are you going?" He placed his book down and took off his glasses.

She hesitated before shrugging. "Just out."

Ben raised his eyebrows and was silent. She seemed to grow uncomfortable under his gaze and she quickly turned to leave. "With Karl?"

She groaned when she heard the very obvious hint of disapproval in his voice. "Please, Dad," she begged, "Can we _not_ do this?"

"Alex, you know how I feel about you going out alone with that boy."

"Dad," she protested with irritation, "I like Karl and he likes me! Can't you just let it go already?" She crossed her arms and frowned angrily at him.

He sighed. "Some day you will understand, but for now you have to trust mr." He was pleading with her to understand and back down respectfully. But this was Alex. He should've known better.

"Trust you?" She scoffed. "Dad, how many people actually trust you on this island?" He didn't answer and she continued. "I'm not a little girl anymore! Maybe it would help if you told me why you don't like Karl." When he still didn't respond, her eyebrows shot up and she groaned in frustration.

Ben watched, feeling useless, as she stormed off and he heard the front door slam shut. And he knew she had disobeyed him. She had gone to see Karl. How could she not see that he just wanted the best for her? That he wanted to give her something that he had never had. A father who actually cared.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

His father walked through the doorway. His shoulders were slumped over, his disgustingly tan workman's outfit was muddy and looking grim. He didn't even look up at his son when he walked through the door. Roger walked right past the dinner that Benjamin had prepared and straight towards the fridge. With his still grimy hands and dirt-stained fingernails, he grabbed two cans of Dharma Beer and made his way to the couch, before unceremoniously plopping down with a groan. Wasting no time at all, Roger opened the can of beer and raised it to his lip, taking a deep gulp of the dark-colored and strong-tasting brew.

Ben didn't know what to do when nights like these came around. His father would drown himself in drunkenness, drowning away all of the hard work of the day and the hard times of the past. Never taking notice of his son, or of the warm meal Ben had taught himself to cook, or the need the son had for a father. Roger Linus didn't care. He _never _cared.

So, he did the one thing he could do. He tried to be as quiet as possible, making next to no noise, intent on not bothering his father. When his father got into these moods –Ben didn't know if his father was in these moods more frequently or if he was just growing old enough to realize them now – Ben didn't like to get in his father's way. Then the abuse would come. Ben grabbed a plate from the cabinet and scooped the pasta and sauce onto it. He had learned so early on, as early as six, how to cook, to make sure that he didn't starve. His father certainly never really fed him anymore. His food still was barely on the verge of edible, but it was food nonetheless. He picked up a fork and a napkin and began walking back to the living room. He was practically tip-toeing. His sneakers were treading so lightly against the floor that all he could hear was the occasional squeak of the rubber against the floor, his own blood drumming in his ears, and the heavy breathing of his father.

When he approached the couch, Ben carefully set the plate of food down on the coffee table and then waited patiently for his father to reach for the food, to acknowledge it..._something_. But nothing.

"Dad?" Ben's voice nearly trembled. He hated to have to wake his father out of his stupor. But he hated, just as much, to see him sitting there and staring at the wall. So, he tried again. "Dad? I made you something to eat."

Roger stirred and his tired eyes fell on his son. "Did you, eh, Ben?" That was all he said and the boy was left wondering what he should say next.

He nodded. "Yeah, and you should really try eating something-"

"You know what I should really try, Benjamin?" His father interrupted and Ben winced. He knew he had said too much. His father was becoming more and more heated, waving his hands about, the beer already beginning its effects on him. "I should try something else. Workman? WORKMAN!" Ben jumped as his father shouted the word. "You know what I was told, Ben? I was told that I would be given a chance here." He laughed bitterly. "I really thought we would have a chance. An actual chance! Well-" he smirked as he downed another gulp of beer, "Remember this, Ben. There are no chances. Nothing ever works out the way you think it will."

"Dad," Ben ventured to continue the conversation. He was shaking inside, but he tried not to show it. "You don't know that. You just have to give this place a chance."

"Didn't I just say there are no chances, boy?!" Roger roared and threw his empty can upon the floor.

"Yes, sir," Ben muttered under his breath. How could his dad think his life was any better here? All that mattered to Roger was how his life had turned into mopping floors and unclogging latrines. He didn't care how his son was coping. Ben was lonely and frustrated. His dad had assured him that things would be better, but that, like everything else his dad had ever promised, had been an absolute lie. So, before he could say anything else that would upset his dad, he turned away and walked back into the kitchen. Taking a tupperware container, he scooped out some of the pasta and then replaced the lid onto it.

By the time he was back in the living room, his dad was deaf to the world, his eyes glazed over and the second can of beer empty and laying on the floor. But he was still conscious enough to notice that his son was making his way to the door. The moment Ben's hand touched the doorknob, his father asked in a low, burly voice, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Out," Ben replied without looking behind him.

Ben ran out the door as quickly as he could and slammed it behind him. As he ran away, the tupperware held tightly in his two hands, he let the tears stream down his nose, his cheeks, his chin. He blinked them away just enough so that he could see where he was going. It was dark outside. There was no moon, and it was the orange glow of the lamps in the other windows that led his way to the swing-set. The swing-set was his place of solace. And he ran to it, as if he were running for his life. But, then he stopped abruptly, for there were two other figures on that swing-set in the dead of night, in the silence. A man and a woman by the looks of it, and there was just enough light to see that they were in a close embrace. The sight made him feel even more lonely. He wished he could have just one person to actually care about him. Well, there was one person who at least _seemed _to care. So, he went to her home.

She had told him where her room was and so he knew what window to go to when he reached her home. Steeling any courage he had left he knocked gently upon its glass. Within seconds a light had turned on and she had come to the window. Her hair was slightly mussed from sleeping, but the moment she pulled back the curtains and saw him standing there she no longer looked the least bit tired. Very slowly and carefully, she unlocked the window and began to slide it up so that her parents could not hear it. Judging from the lights that had been on when Ben had gotten there, her mom and dad were still awake. Regret swarmed in his stomach. He hoped that his foolish decision wouldn't get her in any trouble.

"Ben?" Annie seemed confused at his standing outside of her bedroom window when it was nearly ten o'clock at night. "Are you alright?"

He tried to respond and say that he was fine through a nod, but then he sniffled at the same time that she shifted so that the light could fall on his face. Annie could see the torrent of tears running down his face and her eyebrows crinkled like they always did when she was concerned.

"You're crying," she stated simply, but her voice was definitely worried. "What happened?" Ben didn't answer, he just looked down at his sneakers. Annie looked towards the door to her bedroom and then back at him. "Wait just a minute." He did, not really knowing what she was doing. But the next thing he knew, she was boosting herself up over the sill and climbing out of the window. She had changed out of her cotton pajamas and into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a blue sweatshirt. Her hair had been brushed and pulled back into place too. Taking his hand, she led him away from the house. "C'mon."

They walked for about fifteen minutes, gauging as best as they could where they were through the dark, until they were away from the bungalows and had come to the line of trees bordering the Dharma Initiative. Annie sat down first and rested her back up against the trunk of a tree and motioned for Ben to do the same thing. Once he had, she handed him something that she had been carrying the entire time. When Ben felt it, he noticed that it was one of her sweatshirts. He nodded his head in thanks, although she probably couldn't really see the movement, and then he put his arms through the sleeves and hoisted it onto his back. The island was a warm and humid place, but the nights were definitely chilly. He sunk into its warmth, but he was far from relaxed.

The two sat in silence for many minutes. Every once in awhile, he would sniffle, but everything was absolutely quiet.

"Was it your dad again?" Annie asked. Her voice sounded loud in the silence around them. Ben didn't really have to answer. He knew she knew that his father was the cause. He always was. Had been for the last three months they had been on the island.

Suddenly, she moved to his side and took the sleeve of her sweatshirt in her hand, using it to wipe away the already-dry tears on his freckled face. "You're alright," she cooed softly, calming him down with just her voice. "What was it this time?"

He was quiet and she let him be, knowing that he would speak when he wanted to. And he did. "My dad hates it here. This was supposed to be our chance for a life, and he's ruining it. He always ruins it!"

Annie flinched a bit at the outburst. Ben rarely even spoke, much less shouted. But he looked angry through the dark. And he certainly sounded it. Annie moved her hand to his shoulder. "Do you like it here, Ben?"

He shrugged. "It's not that bad, I suppose."

"You're lying to me."

Ben's head shot up to look at her. How she always knew what was going on through his brain, he would never know. She was only eight, and he was only nine, but she seemed much older than she really was. "How do you know that?"  
>"Because you always look sad." Her reply was simple and made very little sense to Ben, but he looked at her again.<p>

"I don't mind being here when you're here." He was absolutely honest. He meant every word that came out of his mouth and he didn't regret it, even though he felt strangely out of his comfort-zone at admitting something so simple and yet so secret. This time Annie didn't say anything, which Ben was grateful for. Instead, she decided it was best to just change the subject.

"What did you bring?" She pointed down to the tupperware container that was laying at his side.

Ben looked at it and then picked it up. "Oh. My dinner."

"You haven't eaten yet?" Her eyes widened and he shook his head. "Well, then, you should. And I'm a little hungry too."

He shook his head. "I'm not a very good cook."

"Well, I doubt that." Annie remarked before taking the container from his hands and peeling back the lid. There was no fork so she stuck two fingers inside and pulled out a macaroni. She popped it into her mouth and chewed. When she was finished, she grinned. "Not a good cook? Ben, this is amazing." She may have been exaggerating slightly, but he still smiled at the compliment. And she smiled in return because she had made him do something that he rarely ever did because Benjamin never smiled. She passed the container and he took out a couple of pieces. The macaroni was cold and slightly sticky, but they ate the entire meal together. By the end, Ben was feeling like himself again. And, just for the heck of it, he gave Annie another smile to thank her when she climbed back through the window of her room.

_**XxxxXXxXXXxxXXxx**_

_** So, what did you think, eh? Please, please, please let me know!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_ **I logged into my email last night to see that I had gotten 1 review and 2 followers. Thanks so much, guys! It may not seem like a lot to you, but to me, it means so very much! **_

_**I hope that I always continue to impress with this story. LOST, in general, is difficult to write for, but I'm going to work hard at it. I figured it was high time I tried something new!**_

_**The song I have chosen to kinda be the theme for this story is:**_

"_**Far From Home" by Five Finger Death Punch.**_

_**Honestly, this song was just written for Ben. Just...sighs.**_

_**So give that a listen when you can!**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_ 56 days after the crash..._

"What do you know about this man?" Ben pointed to a file with the name 'John Locke' stuck to it and proceeded to flip it open for Richard to read.

Richard took the file into his hands and read it, but it was when his eyes fell on the face that he realized he was looking at someone whom he should know, or _had _known, once. "Who is he?" He asked as he handed the manila folder back to Ben.

"His name is John Locke. He crashed here fifty-six days ago."

"Well, that much I can guess, Ben," he said sardonically, "But _who _is he?"

"You met him," the man explained, "You visited him when he was just a little boy..."

Richard's eyes widened with recognition. "John Locke. Of course, now I know. I went to his home when he was...what?...ten years old?"

"I believe you meant to test him to see if he could be the next leader of the island, am I correct?" Richard nodded and Ben smirked. "Obviously, he wasn't the man for the job."

"He's no threat to you," he tried to assure him but Ben only chuckled.

"Believe me, I know that."

Richard rested both elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Then why are you so interested in him?"

"Because, Richard," Ben spoke in a dry, emotionless voice, "John Locke was pushed out of a window and crippled from the chest down. You ask why this is so important... Well, how's this? John Locke flew from Sydney in a wheelchair. Flight 815 crashed. And now, Richard, he can walk." The man's eyes widened with surprise and shock. Ben didn't seem very moved by the information, but Richard was smart enough to know that he was interested enough to bring it up. "Something about him makes this man special, Richard, and I want to find out what."

"What are you planning, then?"

Ben smirked. "I'm going to get him and bring him here. Then, we'll really know _who _this John Locke is."

XXxxXXxx

_ 57 days after the crash..._

If there was one part of the Island that Ben hated it was the jungle. It was sticky with humidity, dirt-filled, sweat-stained, insect-infested, and filled with all manners of infernal creatures making infernal sounds that threatened to break all of Ben's conscience and force him into a state of madness. He would gladly go to any part of the Island if asked, but to enter the jungle took a great deal of coaxing, either that or an amazing amount of motivation. And to Benjamin Linus, the prospect of trapping John Locke and bringing him back to the barracks was all the coaxing and motivation that he needed. To him, this Locke was important, special even, and there were many questions Ben wanted to ask and have answered by this living miracle, this man who had defied the laws of nature. His back had been broken, his legs paralyzed, unable to move, and now he could walk. It caused Ben to marvel, not so much as to how he had survived the fall and come out perfectly healed. The Island was known to do incredible things, but this John Locke could be of great use to Ben in unlocking the deepest and most kept secrets of the Island. That was why he needed this miracle man, and that was why he was suffering the long, sticky, hot, and exhausting trek through the dense jungle.

That's when he realized it. He was far too concerned with his own thoughts. He was too concerned with the mission and he was not focused enough on the trial at hand: getting through the jungle to the beach. Ben could swear. Well, he did swear. Because now he was in a situation that he had no way of getting out of. So caught up in his thoughts, Benjamin Linus, the man with the plan, the man with a head squarely placed on his shoulders, didn't realize the strange pattern of leaves. Had he looked closer he would've seen the trap, but he hadn't. The moment his foot had landed in the exact spot, Ben noticed his error too late, and up he went. A net encased him, about eight feet off the ground, and he was caught. Benjamin Linus was caught like a wild boar. Probably one of Roussaeu's contraptions. _Damn that woman. _

Within minutes, Ben had accepted the fact that there was nothing he could do. He didn't carry guns. He didn't carry knives to cut the ropes. He was left hanging, swinging back and forth until even that movement stopped. So, he waited. Someone would come eventually. Whether it was Roussaeu checking up on her catch of the day or someone else who had strayed too far from the beach, someone would come, and then they would cut him down. And once Ben was safely planted on the ground once again, he would be able to defeat anyone who came up against him. Even an insane French woman or a frightened victim of a plane crash. Then, he would find John Locke. Sure, this might be a disturbance, a small set-back, but give it a day, maybe a day and a half, and he would be right back on track.

Ben settled himself in the net casing and tried to get as comfortable as was humanly possible. The rope bit into his back and chafed his legs, but he sat down nonetheless. To anyone watching, it would appear that he wasn't even really trapped in a net suspended eight feet off the ground because Ben was cool, collected, and normal, as he always was. He pretended that the humidity didn't leave his throat parched and dry. He ignored the fact that the pesky little gnats were beginning to fly. He just shut his eyes and he waited. Listening. Not moving. Barely breathing. Always thinking.

That was what he did.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Why don't you talk, Ben?"

He turned his neck so that he could see her and then shrugged. "I like this better."  
>"What?"<p>

"Thinking."

Annie moved closer to him and he forced himself to open his eyes and listen to her instead of tuning her out. He always tried his best never to tune her out. "What do you think about?"

"A lot of things," he explained patiently, "I think about school, about how the teacher should've written 'a-squared' instead of just 'a'."

She giggled beside him and knocked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You _would_ be the one to correct the teacher."

"She was wrong! I couldn't help it!" Ben defended. Annie just giggled all the more.

"What else do you think about?"  
>Ben smiled slightly. "I think about the Island."<p>

"What about the Island?"

"I think about all of the smells and the tastes. About the color of the sunset. The trees. And the smell of the air. Can't you smell it?" He asked as he threw his head back and inhaled. Annie did the same, just glad to actually be able to get him to talk like this. She doubted she had ever heard him talk this much in just one sitting. In just five months on the Island, Ben was beginning to grow more and more comfortable around her.

So, she just smiled and sniffed. "Smell what?"

"It smells like warmth and sunshine and coconut. Yes, I think it smells like coconut. Do you smell it?" She nodded and he grinned. "I like that smell."

"Me too." She inhaled again and relaxed. They were sitting in the shade of the trees, their homework forgotten in the beauty of the nature and in the comfort of their friendship. When Ben was around her, he truly felt like he had a friend. Annie looked at him and realized he had become quiet again. Thinking. Never stopped thinking. Her voice was quiet, as if she feared to disturb him again. "What are you thinking about now?"

Ever so slowly, Ben opened his eyes and turned to look at her. There was no trace of a smile. His eyes were sad and Annie swallowed, wondering if she had said something wrong. But Ben just simply answered with two words, two words that made her heart lurk for him. "My mom."

Not a day went by when Benjamin Linus didn't miss his mom. It left him wondering how he could miss someone so much that he had never even met. But to Ben, it was the very fact that he hadn't known her that made his heart ache all the more. Every young boy needed his mother. They needed the comfort, the warmth, the love, and the care of a mother, and Ben had never ever had that.

"Where is your mom, Ben?" Annie asked softly. It was a question, not bred of curiosity, but rather, it was asked out of concern.

Ben spoke and he choked on the word, one small, four-letter word that always left him ready to sob when he thought of it. "Dead." He was nine years old. He shouldn't cry. His father would always just tell him to toughen up. But how could he when it had been his own mother who had died? "She died giving birth to me. I was early." He didn't cry, that much he was proud of. But his throat burned as he forced back the sobs and his eyes blinked fast in the hopes of preventing any tears from falling down.

"I'm so sorry, Ben." Annie scooted closer to him so that she could wrap her arms around his shoulders, but he shoved her away.

"It was my fault."

Her eyes widened with shock. "No, it wasn't. How could you say that?"

"My dad says it was."Annie gasped. She knew Ben's father was an awful man, but how could he ever say such a thing? "That's why he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Ben," she argued, but even as the words left her mouth, she doubted how much truth was in them. Did Mr. Linus really hate his son?

Ben shrugged and forced himself to sit up straight. "Yeah, he does. We never even celebrate my birthday because that's the day my mom died."

"No birthdays?" Annie asked sadly. How awful it had to be to never even have a birthday. She wrapped her arms around him again and this time he didn't push her off. He was rigid for a moment before he finally relaxed and hugged her back. He sighed as he started to feel better. "When's your birthday, Ben?"

"December 19th." His voice was muffled by her shoulder.

"That's in only eight days."

"So?"  
>She smiled. "So," she answered as she released him, "I promise I won't forget."<p>

Ben was doubtful. Everyone always forgot his birthday and he had always been left to celebrate alone. Not that he had ever celebrated. Most often, his birthday had ended with a tirade of verbal abuse from his father before Ben would run into his bedroom, slam and lock the door behind him, and cry himself to sleep. He doubted Annie would remember something that no one else could seem to. But, then again, she never ceased to surprise him.

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_** Hope you loved it!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_** Thanks for the response so far, ya'll! And I honestly think I'm gonna have to watch through the entire series of LOST again, cause I had to look up some of the script online to remember certain scenes for today. Not that I'm complaining. ;) The only thing I have to complain about is that Ben doesn't come in until the middle of the second season...:)**_

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Ben wasn't sleeping. His eyes were just closed and he was listening closely. That's when he heard it. The snap of a twig. About forty feet away it sounded like. Then, there was another snap. The rustle of leaves. He smirked. Someone was coming to retrieve him. It was time to hop into action.

He had been hanging up in the trap for what must have been six hours, judging by the sun's travel in the sky. In that time, he had had plenty of time to come up with a plan. To him, it was seamless. Richard would notice his absence within two days. Then, he and Tom would figure out a plan. All Ben had to do was hold out for a couple of days and he would be fine. And he would have more than he had even come for. This could turn out even more wonderful than he had originally planned.

So, he boosted himself up until he was sitting on his knees, which was an incredibly uncomfortable position considering he was trapped inside a crudely-made net. He gripped the ropes hard between his fingers until his knuckles turned white. Acting came naturally to Ben because acting, to him, was just like lying. And Ben was perfect at lying and manipulation, everyone knew that. He tried to look as scared as he possibly could. His brows furrowed, his eyes widened, and he looked towards the sound. "Help me! Hey, somebody here!" Ben shouted at the top of his lungs. He added a little shake to his voice and was impressed that he actually sounded genuinely frightened. "Help!" Either Rousseau was about to walk through that patch of brush or a survivor of the crash. Either way, he was curious. And surprised, because he saw both. Danielle was leading the way. She looked old, much older than he remembered. Right behind her was the Iraqi man. Sayid Jarrah. Ben had read his file. "Hey! Hey, over here! Please help me!"

"Don't believe a word he says," Danielle ordered Sayid. Ben had expected this. After all, she might recognize him as the man who stole her child sixteen years ago. And, even if she was too insane to remember him, she would most definitely think he was the enemy. "He's one of them."

Ben argued back, "I have no idea what she's talking about. She's crazy." He was looking at Sayid, his eyes pleading with him to offer him aid.

Sayid turned to Rousseau. "How long has he been up there?"

"Since last night," Ben answered. "Please, just cut me down." He gripped the ropes harder. "My name is Henry Gale. I'm from Minnesota. Please." Henry Gale was the perfect alias, Ben knew. That's why he had chosen him. A dead man's name was always the best.

"He's lying," Danielle protested and Ben had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He knew that the woman would be difficult, but, quite honestly, he just wanted to be let down. He had had quite enough of swinging from coarse ropes.

To his relief, Sayid pulled out his knife and stepped forward. "I'm going to cut him down."

He could see the warning in the woman's eyes as she said, "Don't."

For good measure, Ben took on a pitiful expression and his eyes lit up with inexpressable gratitude. "Thank you." He knew that politeness, at the very least, would earn him some points with the Iraqi.

"You're making a serious mistake." Honestly. He had no grudge against the insane French woman, but couldn't she just shut up?!

But, thankfully, Sayid chose not to listen to her protests. He slowly walked up to the net and began to saw through the rope with his knife. Ben braced himself for the hard impact he knew would come, and then the rope snapped and he fell to the ground with an _umph!_ Sayid knelt beside him and began to help him remove the ropes. "It's okay, it's okay," he reassured Ben, "You're alright. Hold on. Take it easy."

That's when Ben turned his head to look at Rousseau and saw that she was loading the crossbow in her hands. His eyes widened in fear, as he was sure Henry Gale's would have, and then he took off running, knowing that he wouldn't get very far. He waited for the piercing pain to come and when the arrow was finally fired from the crossbow and embedded in his flesh, he let out a cry and fell to the ground.

"You could have killed him!" He heard Sayid yell as he ran over to him.

"If I had wanted to kill him, I would have killed him." Luckily, the arrow had only hit his shoulder. It would heal within the next couple of days. And with Jack being amongst the survivors, Ben was confident that the doctor would nurse the wound quite nicely.

Sayid continued to argue with the woman. "You shot this man with no provocation."

"He is one of them," Danielle insisted. Honestly, Ben was glad that Sayid was making a case for him, but the arguing was already getting on his nerves. Six hours in a net had left him sore, thirsty, tired, and with a pounding headache. Not to mention that now his shoulder hurt like hell. "Tie him up," Danielle insisted, "You should take him to your doctor. He's no good to you dead."

_I'm really no good to you alive, either,_ Ben mused inwardly. The irony of it all nearly made him smirk. Instead, he just groaned in pain as Sayid moved his arms to his back and began tying his wrists together. "And then what?" The Iraqi asked.

"You talk to him, Sayid. As I recall that is what you do. But know this – he will lie – a long time. He will lie."

This was interesting to Ben. It seemed that she did know him...or at least seemed to know all about_ them_. Maybe she did recognize him. But then why hadn't she just told her story to Sayid? Ben desperately tried to find an answer, but then his mind went black and he thought no more.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben sat on the swing set again, letting his legs dangle. It was nearly four in the afternoon. And it was his birthday. December 19th. The fateful day. He had tried not to get his hopes up about seeing Annie that day, but he just couldn't help it. The idea that perhaps someone would actually remember such a day that, to every other child, is a momentous occasion, a day of celebrations and parties and laughter and fun, was too much to suppress. But now he was beginning to see that he had been foolish once again. There was no Annie and he was, once again, all alone. Ben sighed and just sat there. He wasn't swinging, he was barely moving. And his head dangled as he looked down at the ground.

"Why the long face?" Ben's ears instantly perked up. It couldn't be...could it? When he looked up and saw her there, his face nearly beamed. She had come after all and in her hand was a box, wrapped in brightly colored paper. She sat down on the swing beside him. "It's your birthday, after all."

"You remembered?" Ben nearly choked on his own words. His throat felt as if sand had been poured down it. He was absolutely speechless.

She opened her mouth in mock disbelief. "I promised I would, didn't I? Did you think I would break my promise?" Ben just smiled at her and watched as she handed him the gift. "Happy Birthday, Ben!"

He had to make an extra hard effort not to immediately start ripping apart the paper. He never got gifts. The excitement was almost too much to bear. His heart thumped with anticipation. Ben did believe this was the first birthday present he had ever received. When he pulled out the gift, he was stunned and speechless. There were two dolls, hand carved and painted, one a boy and one a girl.

Annie took the boy in her own hands and then explained. "It's us. That's you and that's me." Ben looked down at the 'Annie doll' in his hands. "Now we never have to be away from each other. Happy birthday, Ben."

He was speechless this time. His fingers gently trailed the crude carving of the doll. To think that Annie had spent so much time making something just for him. Ben knew right then and there, as he said a small and quiet thank you, that he would cherish this gift more than he would ever cherish anything else in the whole world.

"You're welcome," she replied sweetly and Ben smiled at her. This was the _truly _best birthday he had ever had.

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_** I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know it seems slow moving right now, but we're getting there. And I am SO enjoying writing these flashback! This is so much fun!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_** Hope everyone is having a very wonderful week! I apologize for not putting this up last night, but I got real busy with watching Doctor Who and Person of Interest...and I couldn't stoppppp!**_

_** Person of Interest...if you have not watched it...please. **_

_** Do.**_

_** Now.**_

_** It's simply amazing!**_

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Upon arriving in a darkened room filled with computers that Ben immediately recognized as the Swan, he couldn't help but smirk. He had only assumed that the survivors had been waiting on the beach. Now they had set up shop, so to speak, in one of the old Dharma buildings. Ben had to admit he was impressed that they had even found it. It had _had _to have been like Christmas to them. Running water. Books upon books. Plenty of food. Even music. And, of course, that odious button. Yeah, Ben knew about the button.

Sayid had unceremoniously dropped him onto the concrete floor. Ben had groaned in pain. A few minutes later, he had met Jack, the doctor. He had helped to stitch him up. And, then he had met John Locke. Ben was amazed. There was no sign of the previous paralysis, not even a limp. He had masked the amazement with the very real pain he had been feeling from his wound. They had been very curious. Asked him many questions about who he was and how he had come to the Island. He had answered each and every one of them with a lie. So far, everything was going wonderfully.

And then they had shoved him into what appeared to have once been an armory, all of the weapons and ammunition removed, of course. It would seem they had every intention of keeping him locked up until they found out whether or not he was telling the truth. He already knew that they didn't trust him. They were suspicious. Ben was anxiously awaiting finding out what methods they planned to use to get the truth from him, truth which he knew he would never give up. His alias was Henry Gale. He had crashed on the island four months ago. He had the proof, should they question him. He was just here to gather as much intel as he could. Richard and Tom would get him out soon enough. Probably a week or two. It would take them that long to come up with a good enough plan. But they were clever, nearly as clever as he, so he wasn't worried. The tricky part would be getting John to come with them after he was rescued. That was one part of the plan that Ben still needed to work out.

But now was not the time. The door to the armory swung open to reveal Sayid. His brown skin shone with sweat. His curly black hair hung limply to his shoulders. He walked up to Ben with confidence and grabbed his shoulder. Ben flinched as if he were frightened.

"Here, let me help you," Sayid said kindly enough, as he lifted Ben into a sitting position. "You said you've been here for four months?"  
>Now came the hard part. Ben had to put away his clever, sly persona and become something he wasn't: a frightened, and dim-witted survivor of a crash. So, he asked, as if slightly confused, "What?"<p>

"You said you came to this island 4 months ago, yes?" Sayid explained.

"Where am I?"

Sayid replied with a bit more force. "Please just answer my question."

'Henry' nodded. "Yes, we landed four months ago. Maybe more. Who are you?"

"And you were in a cave all this time?"

Ben shook his head and lied some more. "Off the beach on the North shore of the Island."

"How far from this beach to where you were captured?" Ben felt vaguely as if he were like a criminal on trial, being asked intricate questions with just as detailed answers. Sayid was practically waiting for him to slip up somewhere along the way.

But how would this Henry Gale really know how far away from the beach he really was? He was scared, grieved, and exhausted. So, Ben gave the answer he felt was most believable. "I don't know."

"How many days' walk?"

He pretended to think. Of course, he knew how far a walk. But Henry would have a harder time remembering. "Two – two days."

"Why did you stay on the beach for so long?"  
>Ben let just a little bit of his true self shine through as he scoffed at such a question. "Why wouldn't we? We wanted to be there for fly-overs. We had an emergency beacon, a transmitter."<p>

Sayid was relentless with his questions, and detailed. Ben could honestly tell that this man had once been a part of the Republican Guard. He had been trained well. "What kind of transmitter?"

"And ADF beacon. We wanted to make sure we'd be spotted." Ben decided that now would be the best time to defend his –er, Henry Gale's – position. "Look, whatever you think I am, I'm not. Please, please just...tell me your name?"

His eyes were trying to plead with Sayid to be merciful, to show him some kind of kindness. But Sayid's eyes remained emotionless and careless. He didn't care how pitiful this Henry Gale was trying to be. He _still _didn't believe him. Perhaps, these people were smarter than Ben had originally given them credit for. Sayid decided to change tactics as well. "Your wife, what is her maiden name?"

"Murphy."

"Where did you meet her?"

"University of Minnesota."

"How did she die?" The question came cold and bitter. Sayid still didn't care. He seemed to be trying to invoke some kind of emotion of grief or sadness out of Henry and so Ben complied. He showed shock in his eyes. Henry would surely be thinking how dare he ask such a question?

His voice trembled a bit. "She got sick."

"Sick?" Sayid questioned.

Ben nodded his head and looked down at the ground. "It started as a fever. After 2 days she was delirious. Then she died." He chuckled in a way that was both bitter and weak. "I don't know why you're asking me all these questions. I don't know why you're treating me this way - why I have to explain to you who I am when you don't tell me who you are."

Ben felt success as he saw the man's face shift just a bit. He saw a bit of the hard mask of the Iraqi falling. Just a bit of the true Sayid Jarrah was peeking through and he knew, that in a way, he had won. This man was going to tell him who he was. But, little by little, as he spoke, shivers began running down Ben's spine. This man's voice was cold. Calculating. And still emotionless. Ben wasn't frightened, but he was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable. He could sense that Sayid was holding something back, some kind of torrent of emotions. That was highly unsettling prospect. "I was 23 years old when the Americans came to my country. I was a good man. I was a soldier. And when they left, I was something different. For the next 6 years I did things I wish I could erase from my memory - things which I never thought myself to be capable of. But I did come to learn this - there was a part of me which was always capable. You want to know who I am? My name is Sayid Jarrah, and I am a torturer."

Sayid looked at him, his eyes never blinking. Ben stared back, never before had anyone been able to look into his eyes for very long before feeling insanely uncomfortable, but Sayid was. And eventually Ben had to look away because he knew that Henry Gale would never be able to keep up the nerve to continue the staring contest.

He felt the satisfaction radiating off of Sayid and he looked back up at him. "Tell me about your balloon."

"What?" So they were right back to the questions.

"This balloon that you brought here with your wife. Tell me about it."

Ben nodded his head before taking on a wistful expression, as if he were remembering something that was so perfect and yet so long ago. "She's 140 feet high, 60 feet wide. And when she's up in the air 550,000 cubic feet of helium and a 100,000 of hot air keep her up. And if you could look down on her you'd see a big yellow smiley face on top."

"Why would you travel that way?"

He shrugged. "Because I was rich. Because...it was my dream. And Jennifer thought it would be neat." Jennifer. The name of his 'wife'.

Sayid furrowed his brows. "You 'were' rich?"

Ben only smirked. "I guess I'm thinking of things in the past tense now. How's that for optimism?"

Sayid then began to question him about his wealth and about his employment. Ben answered the questions right back, never once hesitating. He knew his facts, his story. No matter what Sayid asked, Ben came back with yet another question, until finally Sayid said somethign very strange and very puzzling.

"Give me your hands." When Ben hesitated, he shouted again, "Give me your hands!"

Ben complied and Sayid gripped them hard. He then produced a pair of pliers from behind his back and put them around one of Ben's fingers. Ben tried not to flinch. He knew that this particular means of torture would hurt like hell.

"Where is she buried?"

That was one question Ben had not been expecting. "What?"

"Listen to me." Sayid's voice was urgent. "You said you buried your wife. Tell me where."

Ben looked down at his hands, like he guessed Henry would have, and pretended to avoid the question at all costs. He honestly had no idea how to answer these questions. For the first time, he was untreaded ground. "What are you going to...?" He asked about the pliers.

"WHERE?!" Sayid was quickly losing any patience that he had. Ben licked his lips.

"In the jungle, by the balloon. In the jungle." His voice became like a whimper. He pretended to be frightened of what he very well knew Sayid was capable of.

Sayid brought the pliers closer to their destination. "How deep? How deep did you dig the grave?"

"I don't – it was..." Ben was slowly beginning to panic. The pliers were coming closer. He didn't fear pain, but Sayid's eyes were slowly becoming more manic. This was not the calm Iraqi soldier he had known.

"How deep?" The man pressed. "How many shovel fulls of earth? Did you use your hands? How long did it take you?!" Ben now noticed that this was not about the quesitoning. Sayid was having a mental and physical breakdown. Already, he could see the tears brimming in his eyes. Something had happened. He was losing control. And a man who was losing control was always the most dangerous. Ben tried to pull back his hand, but Sayid held it tighter and tigether, cutting off the circulation.

He choked on his next words, starting to feel frightened for his sudden predicament. He doubted anyone would come for him. "I don't remember." He figured that that was the safest answer he could give. He was wrong.

With a shove, Sayid had pushed away his hand. "You would remember! You would remember how deep! You would remember every shovelful, every moment! You would remember what it felt like to place her body inside. You would remember if you buried the woman you loved! You would remember - if it were true!"

Ben took on the best pitying look he could give. His voice sounded caring. It was soft. He was trying his very best to calm the man down. "Did you - did you lose someone? Did you lose someone here on the Island? Did you lose someone, too? What happened to her?"

"It was an accident. It was an accident." Sayid was breaking down now, and he was crying. Ben hated weakness, but in this one instance, he could, perhaps just a bit, understand. He had lost someone too. But that didn't make him feel any pity for this man...this giant of a man brought down because of _love_. "The woman responsible thought she was someone else - someone coming to hurt her - someone like you!" Sayid was coming closer.

Ben desperately tried to crawl away, but he was tied down. There was no way he was going anywhere. He tried to defend himself. "Just, just... This is all a mistake. Slow down here, okay. Hurting me isn't going to bring her back."

But Sayid was long past listening to reason. He was feeling all of the anger, the sorrow, the grief, and the misunderstanding. Nothing Ben could say anymore would help him. He was helpless as Sayid pounced on him and began to beat him hard. Not just in the face, but all over.

"You know what I lost! Tell me how long!" Punch after punch after punch.

Ben's hands were tied. He couldn't defend himself. He couldn't block the blow. But he begged for the man to stop. "No, no! Help! Help me!" Why couldn't anyone hear him? Why was no one coming to his rescue? He doubted Jack would just stand-by and let this lunatic beat him to a pulp. Sayid refused to listen to his pleas.

"Tell me who you are!" But Ben wouldn't, and so the beatings continued. The blood ran down his nose. His eyes were already terribly sore. Sayid laid a blow to his ribs and Ben cried out in pain that he couldn't hide. He just shut his eyes tight and bore the pain. He bore the madness. After all, it had not been the first time he had been beaten.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

School was out and Ben was glad. He liked school, but today he couldn't wait for the teacher to tell them that school was out. It was springtime and he hated to be cooped up inside learning about numbers and literary analysis when he could be outside. He and Annie had made it a habit of theirs, as soon as school was let out, to walk down the road aways and then turn off into the tall green grass where they would walk until they came to a small burrow that they had made. A little "house" made of sticks and leaves. It wasn't made very well, but, then again, it had only taken them a couple hours to make it.

"Ready?" Somehow, Annie had made it outside before him. She had her books under one arm, and the other was waving at him.

"Yep, let's go." They turned to talk down the road but Ben could sense that someone was following them. "I think someone in school fancies you."

Annie looked at him and frowned. "Who?"

"Drew McCallister." For some reason, Ben burned when he said the name. He wondered if he could possibly be jealous. "He's always looking at you. And he's following us."

Annie looked over her shoulder and then back on the road. She made a face. "I don't care. Drew's a spoiled brat."

"I would heartily agree. But he still likes you."

"What's it matter to you, Ben?"

He was taken aback by the question and began to stutter. "Well...nothing...I just...uhh.." And that was as comprehendable as the fourteen year old could be. He had been on the Island for nearly five years. Annie had just turned thirteen, and she was still his best friend. He wouldn't trade her friendship for anything in the world. She had once said that the women of the Initiative teased her about spending too much time with him. And Horace had even said something to him. It would seem everyone assumed that just because they, a boy and a girl, spent nearly every day together that there had to be some romantic connection. Ben just didn't understand it.

His thoughts were broken by a voice behind him. "Hey. Linus." It was Drew calling him.

Ben turned around, hesitatingly, wondering what the boy could want. They had never spoken a word to each other before now. "Yes?" He tried to keep his voice from shaking. It wasn't that Ben was frightened frequently, but Drew was at least two inches taller than him and heavier-set. There was muscle. Too many times he had gotten into fights with other boys in the school. Ben couldn't help but think that he was going to be next.

Drew sauntered up to him and flashed a handsome grin at Annie. "Perhaps this pretty girl would like to spend time with someone else for the day?"

"Excuse me, but this 'pretty gir'l has a name, and she's just fine right here," Annie bit back hotly, clearly indignant.

The boy just shrugged and ignored her. "She spends all her time with you, Linus. Wanna tell me why?"

Ben didn't speak. He just stared at Drew, fearing what he was planning to do. No one ever got in Drew's way, and judging by the way the boy was looking at him now, he had somehow done something to get Drew angry.

Annie spoke up instead. "I spend time with Ben because I prefer his company."

"Hear that?" Drew mocked. "She enjoys your company. What I can't understand, though, is why? It's not like your anything special. You don't talk. You don't _do _anything."

"He talks to me!" She proclaimed with digust.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, doll. I'm talking to Linus here." The way he talked to Annie made Ben furious, but he was too frightened to do anything. "So, why, huh, _Ben_? You gotta wonder why such a pretty girl spends time with...you. Maybe she would like you better if you didn't have these on." With that, Drew ripped the glasses from Benjamin's face and threw them on the ground, before crushing them under the heel of his sneaker. Annie gasped and Ben bit his lipe to keep from crying. His dad would be furious about the broken glasses that had already cost so much. But Drew just taunted all the more. "No, I was wrong. You still look the same. Tell me, _Annie_. What do you see in a guy like him?"  
>"Why you -" But before she could do anything else, Ben had lunged at the boy and had tackled him to the ground. Within minutes every boy and girl had run to the scene of the fight and were shouting, most of them for Drew. Within seconds, Drew had flipped Ben from underneath him and now was on top of him, laying blow after blow.<p>

"You stay away from her, ya hear?!" Drew screamed at him. "She was your girl before, but she deserves someone better!" Blow after blow, Ben tried to defend himself and he tried to get up, but Drew was firmly planted on him. Ben cried out in pain and terror. Through the drumming in his ears and the shouts of the other children he could hear Annie screaming his name.

He saw her reach out and grab Drew by the shoulders. "Drew! Drew! Stop it!" But the boy didn't comply. Annie cried. There was nothing she could do. There was nothing Ben could do. Drew just continued to punch and kick. The blows must have only lasted for about two to three minutes, before the teacher ran out and grabbed Drew and flung him back enough to make him stop. But, to Ben, it felt much longer. And he moaned and groaned in pain.

"Ben?" He thought it was Annie at first, but it wasn't. It was the teacher reaching down to help him sit up. "Ben, are you alright?" He tried to nod but the action hurt too much. "You stay here. I'll get the doctor."

"No." He croaked out. "I don't want the doctor." He had already been humiliated enough.

"But Benjamin -" The woman protested but Ben shook his head.

"Please?" He begged pitifully. The teacher looked doubtful, but that's when Annie stepped in.

She came and kneeled beside him. "I'll take him back to my house, Miss Pole. I can take care of him just fine. If you would like that better, Ben?"

Ben looked up at her through his bruised eyelids and nodded. "Yes."

"Alright, Annie." The teacher conceded. "Use plenty of peroxide to clean the wounds. And bandage them real good."

She nodded. "I will. Come on, Ben." Annie helped him stand up and then she held his arm as she led him to her house.

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_** Thank you to all who have favorited, followed, and reviewed! Please leave me a little note, telling me what you thought. It's the best type of encouragement there is :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

_** Sorry it's been a few days. It's been a very busy few days. Anyways, a lot happens in this chapter, so I hope you like it! Don't forget to review and let me know that you think! Thanks, all of you guys!**_

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_Seven days later..._

It had been a very long week, but Ben still would've said it hadn't been long enough. There had been so much more he could have done. He had gotten _so close _to establishing a friendship, albeit an uneasy one, with Locke. Granted, he had had to save him from the very real danger of an imploding hatch before Locke had even considered trusting him. But Ben _had _made progress, only for it to be completely blow up in his face. He hadn't given Sayid enough credit, he hadn't known how far the man would go to discredit the story of "Henry Gale". Needless to say, the Iraqi had gone far enough to completely throw Ben's alias out of the window. They _knew _he wasn't who he had originally said he was, but they didn't know who he _really_ was either. He had barely spoken a word after Sayid had revealed the fact that he was not the crashed ballooner from Minnesota. They had unceremoniously thrown him back into his 'cell' and locked the door. All Ben had to be grateful for at that point had been that they had chosen not to tie him down. He still had the rope burns around his wrist from his first days as their prisoner, and he didn't need them getting any worse.

But now, there was no need to worry about any of that because he was _free. _Absolutely free. Richard and Tom had truly come through for him, just as he had known they would. The idea of using Walt as a hostage to essentially get his father Michael to do anything that they wanted was simple and brilliant at the same time. They had done exactly what he would have done. Ben couldn't be more proud of them. Not that he could really be focused on his good fortune at the moment.

Michael had set him free. The glorious thing was that he didn't know where Ben was headed, so he wouldn't squeal. And they still had Walt, so Michael wouldn't be able to afford to tell the truth anyway. Ben was free and on his own, traveling through the jungle. But he knew the jungle like the back of his hand. He knew where the Swan Hatch was situated and so he knew where to go; but if Ben could guess, someone would come to collect him, which was something he wasn't going to protest. Quite frankly, Ben was exhausted, sore, and famished. And his back was absolutely _killing _him. Sharp pains caused by his tumor. But he didn't stop. He just kept walking at a very fast pace, praying that Rousseau wouldn't find him before one of his own did.

"Ben." He turned around so fast that he nearly tripped on his already weak legs. He was relieved when Richard came out from behind a tree. "You being followed?"

Ben shook his head, clearly out of breath. He bent over and placed his hands on his knees. "They're a little occupied at the moment."

"So, Dawson pulled through, then?"

Ben nodded. "Just as you planned. Quite a brilliant plan, if I might say so, Richard. My thanks." He held out a hand for the man to shake, but, instead, Richard placed a handgun into Ben's empty palm.

"Just in case," the man explained before turning around and leading Ben back through the jungle. "By the way," Richard called over his shoulder with a humorous smirk, "You look like hell."

"I feel like it too." Ben called back, utterly relieved to be back within the company of one of his own.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Mom? Dad? Anyone home?" Annie called as she opened the front door to her bungalow. There was no answer and so she led Ben into the living area. He was still leaning on her shoulder, but he didn't seem to be leaning on her as much as he could, as if he feared being too heavy for her and crushing her under his weight. "Looks like no one's home, Ben." She helped him sit down on the couch.

"Good." His voice was slightly muffled by his split lip. Annie couldn't help but flinch when she saw the black, blue, and bloodied face of her friend. She didn't think much of anything else hurt. When she pressed her hand to his chest, he winced slightly. His ribs must have been slightly bruised. She doubted it was anything too serious. Nothing else seemed really injured. But one of his eyes was almost completely swelled shut, a bloody nose, a split lip, and a mottle of bruises all along the sides of his face.

She stepped away then. "You wait here. I think the peroxide is in the bathroom." He nodded and watched as she walked down the hall and disappeared.

Ben felt awful. He felt sore all over. He doubted the rest of his body was seriously injured, but he could barely move his face and one of his eyes was swelled so badly to the point that he couldn't see out of it anymore.

Annie returned with the bottle of peroxide, a washcloth, and some white bandages. "Mom always keeps a first aid kit in the house," she explained. Then, she handed him a second washcloth that she had soaked with ice cold water. "Put this on your eye." Ben did as she said and just watched as she sat down on the couch beside him and prepared the cloth with the peroxide. She sighed and grabbed his chin gently. "This might sting a little."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"So, did they find out who you are?" Richard asked as he trampled through the underbrush that was becoming more and more thick.

"Of course they didn't, Richard," Ben retorted, somewhat offended. "But I don't think we'll be able to use the alias 'Henry Gale' anymore."

Richard stopped and Ben did the same thing. For once, the man actually looked slightly concerned. "What did they do to you?"

Ben scoffed. "Let's just say, I'm thinking those people are starting to believe that having an Iraqi torturer on their side has its benefits."

Richard furrowed his brow. "Ben? How bad did—with your condition-"

"It's no matter. What matters is that we still have work to do, Richard. And with my condition, we just need to work harder and faster."

"For what?"

Ben looked at him. "I need Jack Shephard."

Before Richard could say anything else, there was a disturbance heard. The very slight, but recognizable sound of a stick snapping. Very close. Probably no more than ten feet away. Someone was there, listening to them. Ben had half a mind to think that Rousseau must have found him again, but he doubted it. If it was Rousseau, she would have already come out from hiding. She wasn't much for stealth. He looked over at Richard and raised a finger to his mouth, probably useless since whoever was out there had already heard them. There was no way Ben could duck behind a tree in time. He knew any sudden movements would probably trigger an attack from the imposter. Instead, he slowly used his finger to unlock the safety on his gun. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Richard do the same thing.

They waited for several seconds, but they didn't hear anything, nothing but the sound of their breathing. Perhaps Ben's nerves were finally catching up with him in his fatigued state of mind. Perhaps there was really nothing there at all. But Ben remained alert, his shoulders tense and his fingers ready to lift the gun and shoot if he had to.

But for all of his alertness, he was still not fast enough. All of the sudden he heard the click of a rifle, so close to his ear, and he felt the smooth metallic of it on his neck. Richard noticed too late. He raised his gun at the newcomer, but quickly dropped it. Something the stranger had done had made him do so. Then, Ben heard a voice. "Drop it. Drop your gun." The voice was unmistakeably female. Ben didn't hesitate and the gun fell to the jungle floor. "Turn around," the voice commanded again. He did so, his hands raised in the air and his shoulders tense.

When he looked upon the woman for the first time, he was surprised. For years, he had thought Rousseau was the only woman living alone in the jungle. Apparently, he had been wrong. But there was something so disconcerting about this woman. She looked vaguely familiar, but to Ben, he couldn't see passed the tattered and worn clothing, the grimy and mud-covered face, and the red hair that was ratted and dirty. That red hair. There was something so familiar about it. But the eyes were too sad, too dark, and too distant. They looked hollow and empty. The most disconcerting thing of all. This woman looked haunted.

Her face was hard as she spoke two words that chilled him to the bone. "Hello, Ben."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben winced as the peroxide came into contact with his split lip.

Annie frowned. "I'm sorry."

He tried to smile but it hurt too much. It was more of a grimace than anything else. "Not like it's your fault, Annie. Not much ever is."

"That's not true," she giggled. "I'm not perfect, you know."

He shrugged as she tilted his head to the side so that she could clean a cut over his eye. "I bet you think I'm an idiot for fighting him, don't you?"

"I think it was a very brave thing of you to do, Ben." He winced again. "Sorry."

"I'm not brave at all," he protested.

Annie frowned. "Yes, you are." She poured some more peroxide onto the cloth and dabbed at a few smaller cuts and scrapes he had sustained. "The way you stood up to Drew today -"

"I had to. I wasn't gonna let him talk to you like that."

"-and you have to stand up to your dad every single day, Ben. You are _so_ brave. You stay there instead of running away."

Ben swallowed. "Where would I run, Annie? I've got nowhere to go." He knew that that was somewhat of a lie. He knew that Richard would take him in if it was absolutely necessary. But Ben had been told he had to wait patiently, and he was going to. Annie still didn't know about all of that. "I have nowhere to hide."

"You don't need to hide." Annie dropped the cloth and just looked up at him for several seconds. "Benjamin Linus, I think you are the bravest boy I've ever met."

Ben just stared at her. How could she say such a thing? He had always found himself to be a coward, always frightened, and never able to defend himself against any abuse thrown at him. His father trampled on him and Drew had nearly pummeled him to a pulp, and yet Annie still believed he was brave. He just watched her, wondering what was going on inside her head. She hadn't looked away. Ben was very aware of her hand on top of his wrist, of the closeness, the warmth. His heart thumped. He had never been this close to her, and she had never been this quiet before.

He watched and inwardly panicked as she moved closer and closer to him. Just thirteen and fourteen years old. Ben didn't know what to do or how to act, so he just sat perfectly still. And then, ever so slowly, her lips touched his.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"Hello, Ben."

His brows furrowed, his hands were still up in the air. "Who are you?" And how did she know his name?

The woman shook her head. The rifle in her hands was still pointing at him and it was menacingly close to his face. "I'm no one. Not anymore."

"May I ask what that means?"

"By my recollection, Ben, you're pretty smart. So, figure it out."

Now he was more confused than ever. Unless this woman was very mad, madder than Danielle, this woman knew who she was and, more importantly, who _he_ was. "I'm sorry. Do I – do I _know _you?"

That caused her to scoff. "I'm really surprised, Ben. You'd think you'd remember someone who's life you ruined."

"I've ruined a lot of lives," he dead-panned.

"Oh, I know all about the lives you've ruined." Whatever Ben had just said seemed to spark some kind of anger within her. Her otherwise dark and empty eyes flashed with unadulterated hate. The gun still pointed at him, but in her anger, her hands began to shake. Ben was becoming slightly nervous. Being around a woman who was, potentially, insane, and who was obviously angry at him, to the point of physically shaking, was never a safe situation. Much less when that woman had a gun. He slowly began to lower his arms, even as her voice steadily grew louder. "I know how you murdered your own people, Ben, in cold blood! They were a peaceful people who trusted you and you killed them all..."

Ben frowned. "How do you know that?!" He shouted at her. There was no possible way anyone could know about that. Unless...

"Because I was there," she declared, "And I was the only one you spared."

His blood ran cold and his heart leaped into his throat at those words. He had tried to dismiss her as being a lunatic, but this...this was too on point. That red hair, how had he not been able to realize it before?! And those piercing green eyes, which had lost their sparkle, but were still the same eyes he had looked into so many times. He had thought she had died a long time ago.

It really couldn't be...could it? His breath hitched as he stared at her. In a breathless whisper, he said one word. "Annie?"

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Her lips were soft was the first thing that Ben realized through his dazed mind. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening. A bridge was being crossed that he had never even thought would be built. He had never ever dreamed that Annie could feel for him in such a way. But she did, and he could feel it.

Their first kiss was nothing but a short, second-long peck, but it was something that Ben would always remember, even as he grew older and became more mature. That kiss would still mean so much to him ten, fifteen, twenty years into the future because it was the first time he actually felt _loved_.

After they broke apart, Annie was far too shy to look at him, and so she just wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Ben found himself wanting to say and ask so many things, but his throat was like sandpaper. No words would form. So he just held her and cherished the feeling of her in his arms, knowing that she wasn't Drew's or anybody else's.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"Annie?" That one word echoed in Ben's mind. No way. No how. Not possible. That couldn't be her. Not Annie. Not now. "You're alive?" He couldn't help but choke on those words. He was barely able to say them, and then suddenly he felt sick to his stomach, as if he would retch right then and there. This was not possible, and yet here she was.

"Ben, who is this?" He heard Richard say behind him. He had forgotten that the man was still there. Ben ignored him. He didn't feel he could actually speak.

Annie watched him carefully, apparently gauging all of his reactions. She seemed satisfied at the sick, pale pallor his skin had taken. She put the rifle down on the ground and then proceeded to reach into her belt and take out what looked like a small branch with a hollow middle. "It's funny, Ben, how the past comes back to haunt all of us at some point or another. Isn't it?" She slipped something into the hollow of the branch.

"What is that?" Ben ignored her previous question.

She smiled, almost as if she really were mad. Ben wondered if perhaps she _was _mad. He actually shivered at the thought of Annie becoming insane. "I'm sorry about this, Ben." Before he could ask what she meant, she raised the end of the branch to her mouth and aimed it at Richard. She blew hard and a dart, he could only assume was lathered in poison, shot out and hit Richard in the side of his neck. Then, she looked at him. Ben just stared back, knowing any chance of reasoning was over with. He allowed her to shoot him in the neck and then all went dark and Ben fell to the ground.

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_** What did you guys think of this chapter? Please review, they keep me motivated to update as soon as possible!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I know what you were probably thinking. 'It's been eight days since an update, she's abandoned us.' Wrong! I'm back, everyone, and I'm here to stay :)**_

_** It's been crazy busy getting ready for the holidays and all that jazz. This was the first night I actually had time to write this in a week. I'm hoping that I'll be able to update more frequently than just once a week, especially since I know all of you Benjamites are probably terrified I'll abandon this story. You're terrified for good reason, but I swear I never will. I couldn't even if I wanted to. Just...no way. I also made a video for Ben last night. The link is in my profile! Go check it out!**_

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A thick haze surrounded the entirety of Ben's mind, clouding it almost completely. He couldn't remember anything. The last memory he did have was of Michael freeing him from the armory in the hatch. But after that...where the hell was he? And why did his head feel like a hornet's nest with all that _buzzing?_ So much buzzing. He made the mistake of raising his head too fast and his vision went black.

"I'd be careful, Ben," he heard a voice that he knew he should know, but that he just couldn't place. "The drug's affects are still wearing off."

He was practically blind as he turned in the general direction of the voice. "Where am I?" His voice croaked. He was so thirsty, and if only his bloody head would stop ringing then maybe he could concentrate and try to remember what had happened to him! She didn't answer. He tried to move his arms but found that they were tied to what seemed to be a post. Its hard, wooden surface dug into his back, adding to the overall discomfort of the situation. He tried not to panic. Licking his lips, he steadied himself. "Who are you?"

She chuckled. "You'll remember soon enough, I would say within the next few minutes. Then, you'll wish that you could forget all over again."

"Just tell me who you are," he demanded.

She clicked her tongue in disapproval. "Funny how you still think you're in the position of power."

Ben viciously blinked his eyes so that he could see the face that was speaking to him. It was working, but slowly. His vision was terribly blurred. Black dots formed in front of his eyes. But tortuously slowly, his eyesight began to return. He groaned in pain. His headache had not gone away yet. Seconds later and he was looking at the woman, his vision had pretty much become clear again. Not completely. But good enough.

The moment he saw her eyes staring back at him, his head hurt even more, as her words came true. All of the sudden, his memories of the past day crashed into him, and he really _did _regret remembering. Couldn't this just all be a bad dream? Why did the dead have to come back and haunt him?

"That's better, isn't it, Ben? Told ya you'd remember." She smirked at him. Ben saw that she was sitting across from him, a gun laying across her lap and her hands on her knees.

"If I'm tied up, why do you need the gun?" Ben didn't know why that was the first question, out of a million, that he asked, but she just chuckled and shook her head.

"You can never be too sure."

Ben moved his head from side to side. His movements were very slow so that he would not blackout again. He could still feel the drug's affects. They were faint but definitely still present. He looked at his surroundings and then back at her. "Where's Richard?"

"Safe. I sent him on his way back to wherever the hell he came from."

"And what makes you think he won't come back to rescue me?"  
>She smiled, obviously quite pleased with herself. "Two reasons. I told him that you would be kept safe. And, knowing that he probably wouldn't believe that, I told him that if he tried to come back, then you'd be as good as dead. I doubt he'd risk it. I really do." She just smiled all the more.<p>

Ben was having a hard time believing that this was Annie, the woman he had used to know so well. He had known her better than anyone else ever had. This wasn't her. It _couldn't _be her. The Annie he knew would never act like this. She almost seemed to delight in his pain. But, then again, if this really was Annie, then she probably hated him. The thought twisted his gut. The thought of Annie hating anyone was a thought that didn't sit well at all. She didn't hate. It just wasn't in her nature. He looked at the woman long and hard. If this wasn't Annie, then who the hell was she?

"What happened to you?"  
>"You mean after you left me in the jungle to fend for myself?" Her smile dropped and her tone suddenly became hard and biting.<p>

Ben nodded. "I just...I can't believe it. That you're alive. I didn't really think-"

"What? That I could make it on my own?"

Ben flinched as the words practically slapped him in the face. He hadn't abandoned her with the knowledge that she would probably die, had he? He had left her knowing that there was a _chance _that she would live...So he told himself. "I didn't-"

"Shut up." She snapped. "You wanna know what happened? Fine. I'll tell you."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

She heard a knock at the front door. Three knocks, all in a quick, rapid fire. The woman smiled. There was only one person who knocked like that every single time he came to the house. She walked over to the pram and picked the small child up into her arms, cooing softly to keep her quiet. Then, she walked out of the bedroom and into the living area, straight to the front door. She opened it without hesitation and a broad grin spread across her face.

"I thought you were supposed to be at work."

"Had to stop in and see you first," came his deadpan answer. Annie was used to it. Ben had never talked much, but when he did, it usually came out in a short, concise tone. But this was different. The way Ben was looking at her made her feel concerned. He seemed agitated about something.

She tried to continue smiling, but her face began to fall. "What is it?"

"Can I come in?"

Annie knew that he didn't have to ask. Sure, this wasn't his home, but Ben knew that he was welcome any time. Still, he refused to be anything less than polite every time he chose to stop by. Which was rather often anyway.

She moved away from the door and allowed him to walk past her. He went and sat down on the couch. He gave a quick look down at his watch and then back up at her. He just stared at her with those beady gray eyes, slightly hidden by those thin-wired glasses. His mop of black hair was combed back against his head. Annie was a twenty-three year old woman, and yet every time she looked at him, her heart would start to race, just as it had when she had still been a young girl.

She forced herself to calm down, reminding herself that something was bothering him. Then, she sat down beside him and handed Alex over to him. She enjoyed watching the baby whenever Ben went to work. She knew that Ben had just happened to find her one day out in the jungle. He had immediately decided to adopt her as his own. Annie had become, of sorts, an adopted mother also.

Ben just held the child, staring down at her blankly. That's when Annie knew something was most definitely wrong. Ben always lit up when he got to hold Alex. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ben?" He startled as he heard his name. She furrowed her eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

He just sighed and situated the sleeping baby into the crook of his arm. "If I told you that doing something was meant for your absolute safety, would you do it?"

Annie was taken aback by the question. "Ben-?"  
>He looked at her and his eyes were hard and emotionless. "I need to know, Annie."<p>

"You know I would." He nodded and looked down at his watch again. Annie was beginning to feel as if something was seriously wrong. "Ben, what is it?" Her voice trembled a bit as she saw just how tense he looked.

"Something's going to happen today, Annie. Something that I have the misfortune of knowing about. I can't stop it."

"What are you talking about? _What's _going to happen?"

He shook his head. "I can't tell you that. But you do trust me, right?"

"You know I do, but Ben-"  
>"Listen," he pushed and she obeyed. He shifted so that he was looking at her. "You need to get out of here, passed the fence and into the jungle. About two hundred yards in, going straight, there's a massive tree. Sit there and wait for me. When it's safe I'll come and get you."<p>

Annie was silent as he just stared at her. She knew that he was pleading with her to understand. But she just didn't. "Ben, what's going to happen?"

His face went stony again. "I told you I couldn't tell you that."

"If it's so bad then why don't you go to Horace and tell him? Is it the hostiles? We can be ready."

"Not this time, Annie. I'm afraid it's too late for that."

Now he was just scaring her. "Ben, what's going to happen? And how do you know about it? Are you a part of it somehow?!" She was nearly shrieking now.

"No, Annie." His voice was soft and he held her hand to calm her down. "I swear I'm not. I just know. And I don't want anything to happen to you. You've got to promise me you'll go."

"What about Alex?"

"She'll be safe with me."

She frowned. "And where will you be?"

"Annie-"

"Why can't we go together?"

"It has to be this way, Annie," he pushed. He was begging for her to understand. "This is the way it has to be. But I promise I'll come back for you."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"I believed you. God, I actually believed you bastard."

"I don't know what you think, but I can assure you that you've got it all wrong," Ben protested. But he knew that everything she had said was true so far. He was lying yet again.

Annie shook her head. "No, Ben, I understand. You never came back for me. You never planned to. Whatever your reasons were, you were already planning to abandon me!" She was shaking yet again with anger. No tears were falling. But her face was growing red with rage as she relived the awful events of that day, and as she confronted the man who had ruined her life. "Why you didn't just kill me like all the rest, I'll never know! My life's been a living hell in this jungle!"

"I would never kill you..." Ben's voice was like a whisper compared to hers. She barely heard him. When she did, she stopped and just stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You might as well have just killed me, Ben. I died the day I thought you did."

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_** Don't forget to check out that link in my profile! **_

_** And thank you everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed. I honestly never expected such a response on a story that is part of such a small fandom. Please, keep 'em coming! It's the best motivation there is!**_

_** Love ya!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_** I didn't get any reviews last chapter. Little bummed, but ya know what? I'm still here and I'm still writing! Cause I absolutely love this story :) But If ya'll could spare the time to write a little somethin' something', I would be so grateful!**_

_** Oh! And a happy belated birthday to our very own Benjamin Linus, born December 19, 2014. His birthday could never be remembered in the series, but I made sure I did...ya know...because I have no life **_**;)**

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_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben and Annie walked through the long grass of the open plain. They were about a half an hour's walk from the village and coming ever closer to the pylon fence. Per Annie's request, Ben had agreed to walk her to the fence. Alex was on her hip and Ben was holding her other hand real tightly, as if he was afraid of letting her go.

It was deathly quiet, neither willing to speak, because Ben couldn't, and Annie was far too scared to. She was scared because she didn't know what could possibly be so wrong that she had to enter the jungle all on her own. She was scared because she didn't know what was going to happen at the village and to all of the people there. She couldn't help but want to grow wings and fly back and warn them of some great and impending danger. But she couldn't. Ben had said they couldn't. She didn't dare question him, not now, when he was so much more serious than he usually was.

They were finally there. The great iron barriers rose up in front of them, tall and proud in the beautiful summer day. It was sunny and warm and there was not a cloud in the sky. Annie couldn't help but think that it was inappropriate. The day should be dreary and gray, to match her mood. The sunny sky was not helping to brighten up her thoughts at all.

"Can't you and Alex come with me?"

Ben stopped walking. They were about two feet away from the fence. He shook his head and looked out into the jungle, refusing to look at her. "It's just not possible, Annie. I'm sorry."

"But, Ben...please tell me what's going on! I want to know!"

He chuckled bitterly. "Trust me, you really don't." He finally decided to look at her then. "It's better if you don't know."

She shook her head. "But-" Ben released her hand and she instantly felt cold. Finally accepting that he was firm in his resolve, as Benjamin Linus always was, she decided to stop pushing the issue. It was futile anyway. "When will you come and find me?"

"Soon," his reply was too curt and too strained, it frightened Annie. It made her heart constrict. Her heart _hurt_. "You have to be patient, Annie. And trust me."

She tried to smile but failed miserably. Far too many emotions were coursing through her veins as it was. "I do trust you. Always." She saw pain flash across Ben's face, but it was only for a second, so quick that she wondered if she had really seen it at all.

"Good. I'll take Alex now." He held out his hands and Annie handed him the baby. Once Alex was situated in one of his arms he looked back at Annie and her blood ran cold. His eyes were so hard, and yet they contained some kind of hidden warmth underneath. One of his hands rose up to brush back a rebellious lock of her hair. "Everything'll be okay. I'll see you soon."

Annie just nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, careful not to crush baby Alex. "Be careful," she whispered into his ear and then she kissed his cheek before drawing away.

"You too."

Then, Annie walked through the fence and into the jungle.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"You might as well have just killed me, Ben. I died the day I thought you did." Annie refused to look at him after that. She hated the way he was making her feel. So angry. So conflicted. So enraged that she wished she could just kill him now. Childhood friends turned enemies. God, how she hated him.

"What do you mean?" His brows furrowed and she just looked at him.

"You're not serious?" When he didn't reply, she just scoffed. "You're thicker than I gave you credit for."

Ben frowned. "At least I saved you! At least I let you live!"

She smiled because he was getting just as angry as she. It made her feel so much less guilty that way. As long as Ben was angry, she could forget the side of him that had once been so...Ben. She could brand him as the ruthless, cold-blooded killer that he was.

"I was told that no one was to survive!" Ben continued. "Richard told me that everyone had to die. But I disobeyed to save you!"

She chuckled. "Look at you. So angry. I bet you actually think this anger is righteous, huh? You think that because you chose to save me that everything's alright." She was growing more and more hysterical by the second. "God! You _actually_ think _I_ should be thanking _you_ for choosing to spare my life! Don't you?!"  
>Ben tried to move, but the ropes were far too tight. "Just...Calm. Down." He actually looked mildly nervous. Annie looked down to see that she was standing now and that she had unknowingly raised the rifle and pointed it straight at him.<p>

She grinned and set the rifle up against a tree. "Don't tell me to calm down, Benjamin. I've spent twenty years in this jungle. Alone. I hear whispers and I think I'm going mad. Do you think I'm mad?" Ben refused to answer. "Do you?!" She screamed so loud that he actually jumped.

"One couldn't blame you if you were," came his quiet response.

She laughed, loud and clear. "That's right, Ben. And you wanna know something?" She walked up to him and knelt down so close that she was mere inches away from his face. "I hate you," she whispered in a seething voice. "I've spent years in this jungle learning what real hatred is. And you, Ben...I hate you most of all." He was staring back at her, refusing to give in and look away. It only made her more angry. That she should be so unhinged, and he still remain so calm and collected. But instead of showing her anger, she just smirked. "For twenty years I've been waiting for you to come back. In the beginning it was so that we could finally be reunited. But now...twenty years I have spent, waiting, _being patient_, for the opportunity that we could cross paths again. So that I could kill you."

Ben's eyes widened as she just looked back at him.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Annie found the tree after only a few minutes of walking. She strode up to it and sat down, removing the canteen of water and the small pack filled with food from her shoulder. She took a big gulp of the water and removed an Apollo bar from the pack. She nibbled on the chocolate and sat up against the soggy surface of the tree. The jungle was a humid mess. She desperately wanted to walk, to somehow get away from all of the humidity. But Ben had told her to sit and wait. And so she did, counting the minutes until he would emerge through the underbrush and find her again.

But afternoon gave into evening, and evening into a deep, dark night. And there was still no Ben. Annie tried not to worry. Perhaps whatever he was doing was taking longer than he had expected. Whatever he was doing? Hell, Annie _was_ worried.

The night was cold. She huddled up to keep warm.

The morning came. The hot and sticky morning. The sun rose high in the sky. Ben still didn't come. Doubt began to rise in Annie's chest, but she refused to acknowledge it. He would come. She just knew it.

But eventually Annie had to return to the world of the living. She had to think long and hard. Two days had come and gone and he still wasn't there. Three days passed. Annie barely left the tree. She watched eagerly all around her, waiting to see him. She knew her whole face would light up when she finally did.

Four days later, and there was still no sign of him or Alex. Annie couldn't believe it, but the truth was right there before her eyes.

Ben wasn't coming. Something had happened.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"Kill me?" Ben echoed her last words. "Then, why haven't you already?"

"Eager, are we?"

He shook his head. "No. Just curious. If you hate me so much, why not get it over and done with?"

Annie leaned in even closer. She pulled a knife out of her belt and Ben flinched. She smirked. "Where-" she wrapped her arms around his back. He closed his eyes, waiting for the impact of the blade, but she surprised him. "-would be the fun in that?" He felt the binding around his wrist snap and go limp. She had cut him loose.

Faster than lightning, Annie moved out of his reach, but Ben wouldn't have done anything anyway, he was far too stunned by the turn of events.

"I just wanted you to know, Benjamin, that I'm alive. I wanted you to know and fear."

"I don't fear very easily." He brought his arms in front of himself and began rubbing his chafed wrists.

She smirked. "I know. I'm letting you go this time." She grabbed her rifle. "The next time, though, I won't be so merciful. Next time-" she pointed the rifle at him "-I will kill you. I swear it." Ben stood up and just listened to her, his face growing pale. She moved the gun closer to his face and he backed up a step. "Now, get the hell outta here!"

Ben didn't waste any time. He turned and he ran.

Annie just smiled and laughed manically as she watched him. "Until next time, Benjamin!" Her laugh followed him all the way back to the barracks.

Something Ben had feared for so long had finally happened.

His past had come back to haunt him. And she was mad. Absolutely, terrifyingly mad.

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_** If ya'll could spare the time to write a little somethin' something', I would be so grateful! They make me upload faster too! **_**;)**


	9. Chapter 9

_**I hope you all had a fantastic holiday! I know I did. It was splendidly quiet. :) And for my Christmas present, I got a spanking brand new printer. So. I'm a very happy girl. Does that make me strange? 16 and all I wanted was a printer? Probably. But I don't care. Cause I got a printer. I got a printer. *doing my specialty happy dance***_

_** I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I couldn't wait to get back from my grandparents so I could write it up! I want to thank ya'll for the attention this story has gotten. I never dreamed that I would already have eleven reviews on a story that is a part of such a dramatically small fandom. It means so much to me!**_

_**The song for this chapter has gotta be "Turn to Stone" by Burning Everafter. **_

_**I discovered this band completely by accident a couple days ago. And this song...**_

_**This song has been my jam. **_

_**Not to mention I think it fits this story pretty well too.**_

_**So give it a listen. I highly recommend it!**_

_**XxxxXXxXXXxXXxx**_

Ben ran long and hard. To his dismay, he found that it took him a good hour and a half of wandering before he was finally able to deduce what part of the massively large jungle he was actually traversing. Eventually, it got to the point that Ben couldn't even run anymore, not even with the threat of night falling upon him. By his estimate, it was almost three in the afternoon. And judging by where he was, Ben knew that it would take him at least another two hours to reach the village. And that was if he kept a good pace. So, he did. His breathing was labored and his shirt was soaked with sweat, but he kept going because he didn't want to get caught in the jungle at night. There were countless dangers. The smoke, being the main one. Not to mention the countless poisonous insects and snakes. The polar bear. Oh. Wait. James had killed that. _Great_, Ben thought dryly_. _One less thing he didn't have to worry about.

In truth, he was in no humorous mood. The greatest threat that he was concentrating on was not the smoke and not the creatures. His greatest threat was also his newest. _Annie_. Now that he was alone and it was quiet and he could let his thoughts dominate his actions, Ben was driven to think about her. But there was only one question that continued to circle in his mind. How? How the hell had she survived? How had she succeeded in finding him after all this time? Ben had once thought, many years ago, that if he ever saw her again, he would be relieved and overjoyed. Simply put, Ben felt neither. He hadn't ever wanted her to die. But he had _thought_ that she would. He had sent her to her death, willingly, knowingly. His mind, his manipulative mind, had tricked him into thinking that he was being merciful by trying to save her. But he hadn't been because, deep down, he had thought that it was doubtful that she would even survive the first week. How cruel had he really been?

Regardless, Benjamin Linus didn't feel guilty. He just felt angry. Angry at fate that through his own foolishness he had acquired yet another enemy. He felt indifferent towards Annie herself, if not a little frightened. He _never _felt frightened. And a small part of him, a hidden part, undiscovered until now, felt regret that she was alive. He was mildly shocked at that revelation, but still didn't feel guilty. Never guilty. He should've just let her die and be done with it. Then, at least, her haunting would be kept to a minimal. Now she was front and center in his mind and he couldn't shake her from his skin. She had said she hated him. The feeling was mutual, Ben was sure.

He looked down at his hands and saw that they were clenched and shaking. His jaw was locked. It only made him angrier when he realized that it was a dead woman who had succeeded in causing all of this. He had been so calm and collected around her, but now he was snapping.

Amazingly enough, the shock hadn't caught up with the man yet. Shock that the woman he had once had such a connection to was alive. Actually, really, amazingly alive. Ben hoped that the shock would never catch up with him. He couldn't deal with it. Not now. Not ever. Not with so many plans being put in place, and with the crash survivors needing to be dealt with.

He had been gone from the village for eight days. It was time to go home. His thoughts pivoted to Juliet. He wondered if she would be glad to see him. Relieved? Surprised? _Probably angry_, he thought grimly. Ben knew she disliked him, maybe even hated him. She looked at him with hate in her eyes. Ever since he had shown her Goodwin's dead body...he shook the thought away.

One thing was true though, he would be glad to see her again. As he had told her, she was his. Or at least, she _would _be his.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Juliet? Could you come with me for a minute?" Ben was standing to her right, obstructing her view of her lunch partner. But he was too busy watching her to notice the rudeness of his actions. He was concentrating on the curve of her neck as she turned and looked up at him.

"Hello to you too, Ben," she teased him smartly.

He couldn't resist a small grin, even if it was slightly tight. "Of course, Juliet. Forgive me. Good afternoon. Enjoying your..." he looked behind his shoulder at the man sitting there and then cleared his throat to hide his displeasure, "Lunch?"

Juliet nodded her head and grinned. "Yes, I am." Then, she turned to look around Ben's side at the man whom she had just been talking to. "I'll be right back, Goodwin." The man just gave her a reassuring smile, then began shoveling his rice onto his plastic fork and into his mouth.

Ben watched Juliet as she stood up and swung her purse around her shoulder, and then she looked at him expectantly, a small smile still on her lips. Ben motioned with his hand and led the way out of the cafeteria and across the street to a large tree with a wooden bench resting underneath it. Juliet sat down first, crossed her legs, and placed her hands in her lap. Ben stood for a moment and just stared at her until she began giving him a confused look. He shook himself and sat down next to her, feeling quite nervous, as he always did when he got the privilege to be this close to her.

It left him really quiet. Juliet cocked her head. "What's wrong, Ben?"

Ben looked at her. He had forgotten for a second what he had come to tell her. So he responded with a simple question. "Why do you assume something's wrong?"

She shrugged. "You're just acting strange."

He chuckled. "Don't I always?"

Juliet laughed too and he delighted in the sound. "No, you don't, Ben." At first he thought she was just being kind, but then, when he looked at her, he saw that she was telling the truth. Touched, he dipped his head.

"I'm glad you think so. Now..." he scooted closer to her and his voice dropped to a serious tone. He looked her in the eyes. "Now I think you should stay away from Goodwin."

_That_ caught Juliet off-guard. He saw surprise and shock flash across her face and she didn't even bother to recover from it. She just stared. "Excuse me?"

He sighed. "I've noticed that you've been spending quite a lot of time with Mr. Stanhope lately, Juliet, and it is my concern that you are growing quite attached." He saw her face transform from shock to irritation, but he continued. He couldn't stop now. "His wife notices too, Juliet, and if Mr. Stanhope continues to receive your undivided attention, I believe that there could only be trouble. Now, believe me, I know it can be difficult. This kind of temptation-is difficult to overcome. But, I fear, that your attachment to this man will only-"

"Excuse me?" She interrupted, her face resembling a thundercloud. Her voice was almost just as loud. "Excuse me?!" She repeated, this time much hotter, as she stood up and stared down at him.

"Juliet, please, I'm just-"

"How dare you! Who the hell do you think you are?! My life isn't any of your concern, Mr. Linus. If I want to pursue a friendship with Goodwin, then I will. You can't stop me!"

Ben shot right up. "A friendship?" He questioned. "Is that what they're calling it these days?" _God, this was not going well, _his mind moaned. She actually looked like she wanted to wring his neck in her bare hands.

"Shut up! You don't know anything! Nothing! So, shut the hell up!" Juliet turned to walk away, deciding it was best if she left as soon as possible. She was just about to cross the street when Ben called out after her, not caring anymore if anyone was within listening range.

"I'm not asking, Ms. Burke. Stay away from Goodwin"

She turned around. "And if I don't?" She shot back. What could Ben really do?

"If you don't comply," he responded a chilling voice, "I can assure you that the consequences will be disastrous. From his wife, of course." He knew Juliet didn't believe him. He knew it. But he didn't care.

Juliet was fuming, but she managed to keep her voice steady as she answered. "Of course." She rolled her eyes. Goodwin's wife was _not _who she needed to fear. "Good day, Mr. Linus." She turned around and stomped back to the cafeteria. Ben watched her until she disappeared behind the doors.

Only then did he close his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. That had not gone well at all.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

Finally, he had made it. Ben emerged from the hellish jungle to find the pylon fences. Ah, yes, the _other _thing that could kill him on this island. No problem though. He knelt down by the key code and punched in the needed combination. He heard the buzzing stop and felt the electricity die down. He smirked. Nearly home.

It took Ben another half hour of good walking to reach the beaten path of the village. He was here. Home sweet home. Once again. He heard a woman calling his name.

"Ben! Ben's here!" The voices picked up and soon a lot of people were spreading the word. Their leader had returned. The news spread like wildfire.

Tom was the first to approach him. "What happened to you?" He looked taken aback by Ben's terrible appearance.

"If you only knew-" Ben replied dryly before looking around him. "Where's Richard? Did he get back safely?"

"Richard?" Tom echoed, confused. "We sent him to retrieve you, but he never came back. Said that he was gonna go 'back home' wherever 'home' is, once he dropped you off."

Ben nodded. "Fine." He continued to walk, ignoring the people who were staring at the disheveled look of their leader.

He felt Tom's eyes on him as well, begging to ask questions, but he didn't look at him. Ben refused to do so. Finally, Tom just decided to ask anyway. "You alright? You look a little pale."

Ben chuckled humorlessly. "You would be too if you got caught in a net, shot in the shoulder, and then beaten within an inch of your life."

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Tom mused.

"Well, maybe I did," Ben replied cryptically, but said no more. Tom knew that that meant the end of the discussion. The subject was changed. "Is everyone ready for Phase 2?"

Tom nodded. "Phase 2 is underway. I sent a group to retrieve the supplies. They should be here by dark. We'll leave tomorrow around noon."

"And what of Jack and the others?"

"A spy's been watching their every move. They're making good timing. By tomorrow morning they'll be right where we want them to be."

Ben grinned. "Very good, Tom. And what of John Locke?"

Tom sighed. "Couldn't get him. We gave Michael a list of the four ya wanted. Those four are traveling with him right now. After you got captured, we thought about putting John on the list too, but the survivors will need a leader in Jack's place. He would have never come with Michael. Better to not give ourselves away, I figured."

Ben nodded in agreement. "I suppose so, Tom. We'll just have to bring in John later."

"You never know, boss. He might just try to come and rescue the others when he learns about their capture."

"You're right, Tom. Best to concentrate on the positive." But his voice sounded weak, even to his ears. Annie was still on his mind.

But then he saw the one thing that could clear his mind of all of the troubling thoughts. Juliet. She was standing not ten feet away from him. Her arms were crossed over her chest. This was the first time they were coming face to face since Goodwin had been killed. She didn't look as tired and hollow as she had been when he had left. But her eyes were cold towards him.

"Juliet," he greeted her as he approached her.

"Ben," she replied curtly.

Well, she certainly wasn't glad to see him. But she didn't appear angry either.

Ben gave her a small smile, which he knew would probably unsettle her more than anything else. "All prepared for tomorrow's trip?"  
>She nodded. "Of course."<p>

"Good." Another smile, and then the two passed like ships in the night.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben raised a fisted hand and hesitated. Should he really do this? He knocked four times in rapid succession and heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door. It opened a crack and light flooded out into the dark night, to reveal the even darker silhouette of a woman.

"What do you want?" She snapped impatiently. He heard her voice crack and he wondered if she had been crying.

"Only to come in," he admitted.

"I don't think that's going to happen." She crossed her arms.

He frowned. "Fine. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was not my intention to hurt you, nor was it my place to intervene."

Juliet just stared at him, seeming to judge whether or not he was actually telling the truth. He saw her eyes soften slightly, but he convinced himself that it must have just been the bad lighting on the porch. Either way, he watched as the woman opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in.

Ben was surprised. He stepped over the threshold and just stood there. Not sure where he should go, he decided to follow her into the kitchen. She was putting a kettle on for tea. He heard her sniffle. And when she finally turned around, he saw that she really _had _been crying. Rather hard. Her cheeks were dry, but her eyes were really red and puffy. She looked terrible, and Ben actually felt bad. When he looked into the living room, he saw that there were a couple of pillows scattered across the room, as if she had thrown them in her distress.

"It was never my intention to upset you, Juliet," he admitted and he meant it. "I only wanted to express my concern."

"It wasn't your place to be concerned, Ben. You may be the leader, but I'm still my own person. You don't control me. If I want to spend time with Goodwin, I'll spend time with Goodwin." She left the tea kettle and motioned towards the living room, picking up the stray pillows as she went. Ben followed her and sat down on the sofa, making sure that he was a good few feet away from where he thought she would sit; but to his surprise, she actually sat down right next to him, so close that their thighs almost touched.

"I know that, Juliet." He finally chose to respond. "I just see you with him, and I know that there has to be more behind the scenes. And with his wife-"

She scoffed. "You're really not concerned about Harriet, are you?"

He turned and looked at her, startled. "What on earth do you mean?"

Juliet stared at him, never looking away, and Ben felt nervous under her gaze. "Why don't you tell me? What's really the matter, Ben?"

"I don't understand."

Juliet sighed. "Why don't you want me to be with Goodwin? Why does it worry you so much?"

Ben shrugged. "You're a good friend to me, Juliet. I'm looking out for your well-being, that is all."

"I don't believe you."

"Why?" Ben knew he wasn't telling the truth. But no one ever detected his lies. _Ever._

Juliet seemed like she wanted to say something else, but she abruptly ended the conversation. "Never mind." She looked away from him and it was awkwardly silent.

Ben sighed, but he didn't look away. He just stared at her. There was so little time that he actually got to just sit and observe her. He relished in these moments. "I'm sorry." His voice was so quiet that he didn't think she heard him, but she did.

She turned to look at him and his eyes caught hers. "You're really telling the truth, aren't you?"

He nodded and smiled slightly. "I am." Ben just looked back at her, but he felt warm. It was becoming harder and harder to stare back. And was it his imagination, or was she coming closer?

Juliet moved closer to him, studying his reaction. She stopped just short of his face, never losing contact with his eyes. "You never tell the truth, Ben."

He smirked and replied with a voice that he fought to keep steady. "A first time for everything?" Juliet didn't reply, but he knew that she was going to kiss him. Whether out of anger or forgiveness, he didn't know, but he found himself wanting it. He leaned in and felt her warmth breath against his mouth...

A sharp whistle sounded, and it was so starkly loud that they both pulled away so abruptly and so awkwardly that it was actually jarring. Juliet jumped up and ran to the stove where the tea kettle was. Ben didn't know what to do, so he just followed her.

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_** Hope you liked it, and I hope you tell me how much! This took me forever to write, but I'm really happy with it!**_

_** Also, I made a pretty awesome video over this past week. Again, it took me forever, but it was so worth it. It's called Lost: This Is War. It's a shot LOST fanvid, made with the song "This Is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars. A perfect song for this show! Please, ya'll go and watch it! It's under my YouTube channel name "Lady Gisborne 15".**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**The holidays have come and gone, and now it's back to work. I'm so ready to start updating regularly again! I missed all of you guys! Thanks for all of the feedback. I don't get a lot, but what I do get, means the world to me :)**_

_** I've pretty much decided that anything by Within Temptation fits Annie's life in this story perfectly. Especially "Memories", which I think I'm going to make her song. Ben's is "Far From Home", and Annie's is "Memories". Just some extra info :)**_

_** Disclaimer: This has already been disclaimed.**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

__Blurring. Flashing. Lightning. Running.

Screaming. Whirring. Panting. Drumming.

Always. Never ceasing.

_Run. Run, you must get away!_

Her eyes moved rapidly from underneath her eyelids. Her cheeks were hot and red, and her entire body was sweating, making her otherwise curly red hair limp and straggly.

Her heart beat like the drums in her dreams. The drums of people who were always chasing her but who she never saw. They were invisible, all around her. In the trees. The dirt. The wind. No escape.

_No escape! Run!_

_ RUN!_

Annie's back arched as she tried to sit up, finally succeeding in pulling herself up and draping herself over her bent knees. She felt like vomiting. Hot, sticky, panting, out of breath. It was still dark out and it pressed all around her, making her heart race more. How could she still be so affected, after all these years? Twenty long years spent alone in a jungle from hell, with only her dreams to visit her.

Blindly, she reached out to find her weathered canteen and uncorked it, before pouring all of its contents over her head. The warm water did nothing to appease the heat, but it did wake her up.

The drumming in her ears stopped and she was able to hear her surroundings. Through her dazed mind she heard the faint snap of a twig. Her eyes opened wide and she stood up, reaching for the rifle by her side and pointing it in the direction of the noise. Her body hummed with adrenaline and fear.

"Who's there?!" She practically screamed, not concerned with being quiet. She unlocked the safety and had her finger on the trigger. She caught sight of a moving shadow and her finger locked around the trigger. But before she could pull it, a voice stopped her.

"Be quiet, Annie."

The woman felt immense relief when she recognized the voice. Slowly, the newcomer stepped closer, a rifle was in her hands also.

Annie's voice returned to normal as she squatted back down on the ground, laying her rifle aside, just close enough that she could grab it if the need arose. "A bit early to be comin' around, don't ya think, Danielle? I could've shot you."

"It's a good thing I stopped you then, no?" The woman sat down beside her, but kept the rifle in her lap.

"I would offer you something to drink, but my canteen's empty."

Danielle only nodded her head in response. It was still too dark to make out too many of each other's features, but Rousseau's curly brown hair was evidence enough, as was her French accent.

Annie sighed into the silence, finally beginning to feel calm again. Her heart was not thrashing wildly about her chest anymore. "What brings you around, Rousseau?"

"I was checking my traps."

"This early?"

Danielle nodded. "Couldn't sleep. And by the sound of it, you couldn't either." Annie cocked her head and the woman explained. "I heard you call out. I came to see if you were alright."

"Thanks," Annie whispered very quietly, she doubted the other woman could hear her, but it seemed she did because Danielle dipped her head in acknowledgment. She was grateful that Danielle never asked her what her dreams were about. Sometimes she wished she could just tell someone, but then, she was glad that no one knew. It was best that no one knew what she dreamed of in her deepest sleep. The nightmares of her past, present, and future. The nightmares of all the horrors she had witnessed.

"The survivors were holding a man in one of the hatches. He escaped yesterday." Danielle's statement was so jarring that Annie's heart slammed in her chest. The memories of the previous day flooded her mind. Rousseau continued. "He was captured in my net. I recognized him. I tried to convince them not to take him, but they wouldn't listen." Danielle sighed. "He was the man who stole my Alex."

Annie sucked in her breath. She had often heard Danielle speak of her baby Alex, the most precious thing in her life, that had been stolen from her in the dark. But she had never wanted to believe-

"Are you alright, Annie?" Danielle asked in concern. She must have heard the woman's reaction to her statement.

"The man who stole Alex...I know him too," Annie admitted. "His name is Benjamin Linus."

Rousseau never showed any sign of emotion, no reaction, but in the husky dawn, Annie could just make out the faint lines of surprise on the woman's weathered and worn face. "Benjamin Linus? _You're _Benjamin Linus? The one who-"

Annie stopped her from saying anything more and nodded. "That's the one." She looked down and began to idly peel at her fingernails. It was a habit that she had always had, and it was fiercely put to use whenever she was nervous, anxious, or uncomfortable. It took her several more seconds to speak, and when she did, she sounded as if she were choking on her own words. "I saw him yesterday."

"You what?"

Her head shot up. "I saw him. For the first time in twenty years, I actually got to see him." She turned away from Danielle's piercing eyes. "It was nothing like what I expected."

"You told me if you ever saw that man again you would kill him."

Annie nodded. "I did. But I...let him go."

"But-" Danielle furrowed her brows. "After everything he's done. To you. To Alex...Why?"

"A momentary lapse in judgment." She stood up, leaving the rifle behind her. She trusted Rousseau. "I saw him again, and I just couldn't. Not then. I hate him. I_ hate _him! He _will_ die."

Danielle frowned. Not because she didn't approve, but because she saw how agitated the woman before her was becoming. She stood up and reached out for her. It was as if Annie was startled from some sort of dream the moment Rousseau touched her arm. "Annie. He's not worth the anger."

Her jaw was clenched. Her eyes flashed green. She was angry. The very thought of Ben brought shivers of rage up her entire body. But then, just as quickly as it had come, the anger dissipated. "You're right. Of course you are."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Annie awoke to the sound of one of the jungle birds caw-cawing somewhere high up in the trees. The very sound made her stomach clench in hunger. It was as if the birds were mocking her because she had no means of capturing them. Annie had no training in survival. It wasn't like she had planned to be out here this long without a fresh supply of food and water. She wasn't even supposed to have stayed in this bloody jungle for this long!

The woman stood up and stretched, allowing the bright sun to pour through the trees and all across her body, warming her almost instantly.

Annie's thoughts were plagued. The haunting thoughts never stopped. The worry and anxiety had no end. Continuous. Even when she slept, she could feel it wound up in a tight ball against her heart. She was afraid. What could have possibly happened to Ben to detain him for so long? Annie knew that whatever had made him make her leave the village had been terrible enough to be incredibly dangerous. Ben had actually looked worried. He _never _looked worried; it just wasn't in his nature. But something about what was going to happen that day had had him nervous.

For the first four days, Annie had tried to convince her mind that something had just happened to detain him. Maybe it was still unsafe and he was in hiding. But it had been six days now, and she doubted Ben would have just left her out here on her own. Something had happened, and that thought made her entire body shake. A large part of her wanted to venture back to the village, to see whatever lay behind that pylon fence, to know what had twisted Ben's gut so.

Was he even alive?

The more she thought about it, the more Annie feared the conclusion that her mind was already forming on its own. Something terrible must have happened to him. Maybe the hostiles had captured him. Maybe he was being tortured. Or...

Maybe he was dead.

Annie shuddered and then pinched her eyes shut as hard as she could to squeeze out the image of Ben's dead corpse laying cold and alone in the grass.

"Come on, Annie. Stop it. It won't help anything." She continued to whisper soothing words to herself until she had calmed down again. She pushed the thought of Ben aside and she focused on the present problem. She was all alone in this jungle. Ben had told her to stay by the tree and wait for him. But she couldn't stay forever. Her canteen was completely empty and her throat was parched. Add on top of that, the food she had packed was nearly gone, and even if she rationed it carefully, it would be all gone by noon.

Annie had to make a decision. Stay here and risk dying of hunger, or leave and risk missing Ben? There really wasn't much of a decision. As much as she wanted to stay, her stomach was aching something fierce. She doubted she would last long without fresh water. So, she shouldered her pack and her canteen and began the heated trek into the unknown and forbidden jungle.

She was too distressed by her current predicament to even really observe the beauty of her surroundings. She was looking for anything, _anything_, to eat. And she was constantly listening for the sound of any kind of flowing water.

It was about ten minutes into her hike when Annie got the feeling that she was being watched. She pivoted and glanced behind her, looking all around, but she saw nothing to suggest a threat. Annie continued on, but she couldn't quite shake the feeling that someone was still there.

Within a half hour, Annie had completely lost her bearings, she doubted if she could find her way back to the tree. She was truly alone.

Several yards ahead of her, she saw a vine that was wrapped tightly around a skinny, but incredibly tall, tree. When she walked closer, she saw that the green vine was covered with tens of hundreds of small, orange orbs. They looked similar to oranges. The outside appeared to be more like a shell. When she removed one from the vine, she found that it was leathery to the touch and nearly impossible to open.

The thought of food fueled her already weak body and she began to pound the strange object against a nearby rock. It took several tries, but eventually she succeeded in cracking the outer skin. When she peeled it open, she saw that it was a fruit, judging by the yellowy-brown fleshy material on the inside. It looked utterly disgusting and smelled almost rotten, but Annie didn't care. Her hunger called to her and she raised the fruit to her lips.

Just as she was about to take a bite, she heard a stick snap behind her and then a voice. "Don't eat that."

With a gasp, Annie dropped the fruit and looked behind her. Standing only five feet away was a woman. A woman with small, beady brown eyes, a mild complexion, and thick, uncombed brown hair. She looked fierce and frightening and was carrying a rifle in her hands.

Annie stood to her feet and grabbed the closest stick, holding it in her hands for protection, though she knew that she was no match when put up against a gun. "Who are you?" She demanded to know, her voice held a tremor and her hands shook.

"My name is Danielle," the woman responded. Annie noticed that the woman had a deep voice and a strange, yet recognizable accent. It was heavily French. "Are you one of them?"

"One of who?" Annie furrowed her brow.

"You are." Danielle replied simply and pointed her gun at her.

Annie dropped the stick in favor of raising her arms. "Wait. Stop!" Her heart beat wildly in her chest. "Are you a hostile?" She doubted calling the woman such an offensive term was the right choice, but she was too frightened to think.

"A hostile?" The woman asked in confusion.

Annie nodded. "I come from the Dharma Initiative." She pointed in the general direction of where she knew it was. "That's my home."

That seemed to get the woman's full attention. "Where is she?" Danielle stepped closer. Her gun pointing straight at Annie's chest. "Where is my Alexis?!"

"I—I don't know! But please. Just listen!" Annie was screaming frantically now. "Please! There's nothing left. Something...happened! I—I escaped. But my people...I don't know what happened to them!"

Danielle stared at her for several more seconds, seeming to try and judge whether or not this girl was telling the truth. To Annie's relief, the woman lowered her rifle. "What are you talking about?"

Annie felt her lip quiver and then she felt the tears flowing to her eyes. "Please—I don't know what to do..." She was pleading with this strange woman to help her. That's when the unconsciousness struck. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, as well as dehydrated, malnourished, and frightened. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell to the ground. All went black around her.

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXX**_

_** Please, leave a review! And thank you DrunkenOfficer for reviewing on the previous chapter!**_

_** Love you all :D**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thank you Drunken Officer for reviewing on the last chapter. I'm so glad you enjoy this story and what I'm trying to do! I look forward to what you have to say next!**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_ Three days later..._

__"Sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to put those on, Kate," Ben expressed as he looked at her from where he sat across the table. The ocean was so close that he could nearly feel its salty spray on his face and he could hear the refreshing sound of the waves hitting the rocks. The beauty was lost to Benjamin, however. In that moment, all of his focus was placed on the woman sitting opposite him. The woman with the flowered sundress.

She raised a brow at the handcuffs on the table. "And if I don't?"

Ben smirked. "Then you don't get any coffee."

Kate complied and slipped the metal cuffs onto her wrists.

"Tighter," Ben ordered and he was met with a defiant look from the woman. He could tell he was angering her fast. "Please." Ben was grateful when she finally complied. He nodded his head and began to eat his eggs.

Kate did not eat, however. She just stared at him with a calculating and cold eye. "What have you done with Sawyer and Jack?"

Ben looked up, fork in the air. "Now, _why _Sawyer?"

"'Why Sawyer' what?"

"He's the first one you asked about," Ben answered and nibbled at his toast. "'What have you done with _Sawyer_ and Jack?'"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You don't know me."

"Of course I don't," Ben complied and set his piece of toast down to study her. She was certainly a beautiful woman, but far too fiery for him. Far too rash and angry. And not even the least bit grateful for the view he had provided her with.

As long as Ben stared at her, Kate stared right back. She looked as if she would have crossed her arms if her wrists hadn't been cuffed. "I want my clothes back."

"We've burned them," he deadpanned and her cheeks became red with anger.

"Why did you bring me here? Why did you make me put on this dress? Why are you feeding me breakfast."

_Good. Now she was asking the right questions._

Ben just smirked all the more and motioned to the view of the island's coast. "I brought you here so you'd look out at the water and feel comforted - comforted that your friends were looking out at the same ocean. I gave you the dress so that you'd feel like a lady. And I wanted you to eat your food with a real live fork and feel civilized. I did all those things so that you'd have something nice to hold on to. Because, Kate, the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant."

If he frightened her at all, she didn't show it. "What do you mean by unpleasant?"

He chuckled. "I'm afraid you'll just have to wait and see."

Kate nodded and he wondered if she had even expected him to answer that question. "And you're the leader here?"

"You could say that," he said with a nod. "But there are higher forms of leadership than me."

She laughed bitterly. "Who knew this island would be such a democracy?"  
>He returned her laugh. "There is a lot about this place that you don't know."<p>

"So..." she began and she finally decided to eat a little. After all, she was starving. And the food, though she hated to admit it, was actually really good. "I take it you didn't just crash on this island. Who are you really?"

"If I told you that, then where would be the mystery in it all?"

Kate rolled her eyes and took another bite. "Can I at least know your name? Your _real _name?"

He smirked. "What's in a name?" When he saw the disappointment flash in her eyes, he smiled just a bit. "But you can call me Benjamin. Benjamin Linus."

"Well, Benjamin..." she looked him dead in the eyes and grinned defiantly. "It's taking awhile to heal, huh?"  
>Ben instictively raised a hand to the spot above his right eye, where he knew there was still a scrape. "You have your Iraqi torturer to thank for that," he replied dryly. "But I wouldn't look so smug, Ms. Austen." He saw the look of shock on her face when he said her last name. "After we're done with you, you'll wish we were Iraqi torturers instead of the 'others', as you like to call us."<p>

"You wouldn't dare hurt us!" She declared between clenched teeth.

"Oh, trust me," he said calmly, "Torture is not really our thing. But, may I remind you, Kate, there are worst things than the pain of the body." Ben turned to look out at the ocean and sighed. "Isn't it just one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen?"  
>But Kate didn't answer and he didn't expect her too. She was far too busy glaring at him with all the hate she could muster.<p>

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

A twenty-nine year old Benjamin Linus sat on the great, gargantuan surface of a cliff, looking out at the ocean below. The blue expanse stretched out as far as he could see and, were it not for the geographical lessons he had learned in school, he would have wondered if perhaps the blue went on forever and ever. Of course, Benjamin knew it didn't. But there would always be a part of him that would wonder 'what if'...What if the ocean didn't end? What if the island was the only source of land on the earth? What if they were the only humans in existence?

Ben felt a pair of eyes staring at him and he turned around to see that Richard was the newcomer, the intruder into his private thoughts. Very rarely did Ben get a chance to be so quiet, what with his new role as leader of the island. He had banished Widmore only a week ago. And good riddens. That was one man he would never ever miss, not even for a moment.

"Do you think I made the right choice?"  
>His voice, though quiet, was abrupt, and Richard walked up to sit down beside him. "About what?"<p>

"About..." 'everything' was almost what he said, but he decided against it. "About Charles?"

Richard shrugged and looked out at the ocean. "You didn't have a choice. Charles sinned and went against the rules of the island. He could no longer be the leader. Jacob's decision."

Ben nodded. "I suppose," he replied thoughtfully, he was only half intent on the conversation. He licked his lips and looked at the man sitting next to him. "Do you think I make a good leader?"

"I think..." Richard replied slowly, "...That you do what you can. You're not going to be perfect at it. And-" He paused.

Ben raised a brow. "What?" His voice was hard. He could tell Richard was hesitating.

"Well," the man chuckled humorlessly, "It's no secret that this is what you've wanted for a long time."

"Are you saying I orchestrated all of this? That I planned this? Is _that_ what you think?"

"No, I don't think that. But how can the people be assured of that?" Richard shook his head. "They watched you as a boy, Ben. Some died, others took their place. I don't think many of them trust you, if that's what you're asking."

Ben frowned. "I'm not looking for trust. I know I give no reason for people to trust me."

"Anyone in particular you're thinking of?"

"Why would you think that?" He snapped as he turned to Richard.

The man seemed unphased. "You have a far away look in your eye, as if you were asking all of these questions underneath the guise of the people, but were really asking them about a particular person." Ben was silent and just looked down at his hands. Richard frowned. "What was her name?"

"Why do you assume it was a woman?"

"Isn't it always?" Richard jested and succeeded in making Ben smirk.

It was silent as the two men sat, hearing nothing but the crashing sounds of the waves hitting the rocks below. Richard wondered if he should just get up and leave Ben to his thoughts, but, just as he was about to, it seemed the man was ready to speak again.

"I lost her, Richard," he began in his monotonous voice, void of emotion, and licked his lips. "She trusted me with her life and I let her down." He looked at Richard and his eyes were solemn but still emotionless. Ben disproved the very idea that eyes were windows into the soul. "I thought that after all this time, I would be able to forget. But how can I forget if I can't forgive myself?" Richard thought he heard a flicker of sadness in Ben's tone. "I can't forgive myself."

Richard didn't say anything because he couldn't think of anything to say. He knew Ben was never this vulnerable, and even though he was barely showing any emotion now, he knew that this was about as vulnerable as the man would ever get. He knew that Ben would not appreciate calming words of encouragement, nor would he desire a lengthy to-do-list to attain the path of forgiveness. So, he was just silent, wondering who this mystery woman could be, and what had happened to her.

"Did she die in the Purge?" Richard dared to ask.

Ben's shoulders stiffened and he turned to look at the man. In a simple voice came his simple reply.

"Yes."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"You okay?"

He turned around to look at Juliet. "Since when do you care?" He knew he sounded hostile but he couldn't really bring it in himself to care.

She shrugged. "You're right. I really don't." Her voice was cold, but it didn't affect Ben really. He knew she disliked him. But then again, this was the longest conversation they had had in nearly three weeks.

"How's Jack?" Ben decided to change the subject as he focused his gaze back on the video feed of the doctor. The man was currently pacing the length of his "room", his hands on his hips, his jaw locked.

Juliet shrugged. "He's normal, considering all that's happened to him. Angry mostly."

"This should be some fun then," Ben replied, a hint of humor in his tone.

"Remember that this is the man you hope will perform the surgery. Your life depends on him." She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. "Don't anger him any more than he already is."

He turned around. "What's that supposed to mean?" The question was posed softly enough, but he sounded curious. He leaned his back up against the desk.

She seemed unfazed by his reaction to her statement. "Nothing. Just...you tend to make more enemies than you do friends, and you anger people more often than you don't. If you do so with Dr. Shephard I can't guarantee that he will do the surgery."  
>"There's always an angle, Juliet. It just needs to be found and exploited. He may not do the surgery with a willing conscience, but, you mark my words, I'll find a way to convince him."<p>

"You're a manipulative bastard, Ben," Juliet declared in a cold tone and he saw the glint of hate in her eyes. It was clear and unmistakable.

Ben rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Believe what you want."

Juliet looked as if she wanted to say something else, but instead, she decided to turn around and leave. She would've kept walking if his voice hadn't stopped her.

"Do you believe the past can come back to haunt you?"  
>Her brows slanted and she turned back around. "What the hell are you talking about?"<br>He licked his lips as he tried to explain, but he eventually gave up. "Never mind." He thought she would leave but she just continued to stare at him.

"I do think that our past wrongs have consequences. One way or another, our mistakes always catch up to us." She cocked her head. "Why do you ask?"

Ben frowned and then looked up and straight into her eyes. "No reason." Juliet just nodded.

"Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret what?"

Juliet closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself. "Killing him."

"By 'him', I presume you mean Goodwin?" Juliet just nodded and Ben shrugged. "The only thing I regret about doing what I did is-" he paused and frowned, "-is that I have lost your friendship. I thought that by eradicating him, you would be mine. But in doing so, I just pushed you away even more."

"Ben, I never felt for you like that. If I ever gave you a reason to believe-"

He interrupted. "You almost kissed me."

"What?" His abrupt answer left her floundering for coherent speech.

"On the night I came to your home to apologize, after telling you to stay away from him, we-" he groaned. "Never mind."

"Ben, I was upset!" She exclaimed as she walked back into the room and slammed the door behind her. The room was so small that it left very little space to move, and they were so close they were almost touching. Her hot breath crashed into his face and he could feel her anger burning within her. "Your words had hurt me, and then you did something I never thought you would do. You came and you apologized, and you _were _serious. I lost myself for a moment! One moment!" She bit her lip. "And nothing happened."

"Something could've," he argued, trying to hold onto one last strand of hope of what might have been, but she coldly shook her head.

"No, Ben," she admitted, "It couldn't have."

And with that, she had reopened the door, walked outside, and slammed it hard in his face.


	12. Chapter 12

_**First of all, I want to thank Drunken Officer, not only for reviewing, but for also sending me a private message because she was so desperate to know when I was going to update again. It means more to me than words can express that you are so in love with this story! I feel like screaming. To answer your question, I have made Monday my official updating day, and I intend to keep to that schedule :)**_

_** I also wanted to tell you all that Ben is the hardest character I've had to write for yet. I thought he would be rather easy to write, but it turns out that I end up taking three to four hours just to make sure that I've got every word and every mannerism correct. So, I hope you all find him to be in character. There is nothing worse than a character that is so obviously OCC.**_

_**XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Ben and Annie stood and watched as all of the other kids walked along the pier and then piled, one by one, into the submarine. Ben didn't find it at all unsettling that he wouldn't miss any of them. In his opinion, they had all been brats and he hadn't grown close to any of them. Drew passed by them both and glared. Ben just smirked. It had taken two years but he had finally succeeded in getting his revenge on the school bully. Now he watched with pride as Drew walked by, one of his eyes swollen shut and his upper lip split and red. The moment Drew's eyes fell on Annie, Ben grabbed her hand and glared back. The message was fairly clear. She was his and would never belong to Drew. Drew just rolled his eyes and walked past. His head eventually vanished as he went down into the submarine.

"You didn't have to give him such a beating," Annie chided softly, but he could hear the faint hint of amusement in her voice.

Ben shrugged. "That's a matter of opinion."

Annie gave his hand a squeeze. If she had been surprised by the gesture, she hadn't shown it, but he felt comforted by the fact that she still hadn't let go. "I said you didn't have to. I didn't say I minded." She chuckled as Ben grinned, and then they were silent again.

The children would never come back, everyone knew that, and neither would the parents. They were to return to the mainland, to America. All Ben knew was that someone had given them all permission to leave should they wish it. Most had. Five families, not including his and Annie's, had decided to stay. He still didn't know why his dad hadn't opted to return to the United States, if he hated it here so much. But Ben was glad. There was no way he ever wanted to go back. This was his home now and it always would be.

"I'm so happy I didn't have to go," Annie declared as they watched the last of the passengers board. "I was so scared that my parents would want to go back."

Ben smirked as he looked down at her, and she up at him. "You're fifteen now. I think you're old enough to decide whether you want to leave or stay."

Annie chuckled. "I'm not anywhere near old enough, Ben! If my parents had left, they would have taken me with them. I didn't want to leave."

"I didn't want you to either," he admitted honestly. "I don't know what I would do if you weren't here to keep me company." He pulled her along with him and they began the walk back down the pier and towards the village.

"Probably drive yourself mad," she teased.

"Probably." But he was dead serious and she felt her heart leap in her chest at the thought. Did he really think so highly of her? Was she really so important to him? True, he had barely said anything, but she had gotten very good at reading in between the lines.

"I was kidding, Ben," she decided to admit.

Ben gave her palm a squeeze and then he turned off of the path and into the tree line. "I know."

"Ben, where are you taking me?" It was a fair enough question. By then, they had stopped walking, but the thick underbrush of trees had hidden them from view.

He looked down at her and let go of her hand. "Nowhere." Annie just stood there and swallowed hard as Ben leaned down and gave her a short peck on the lips.

She sighed happily and stepped closer. "Was that the reason you brought me in here?" She teased him and watched as the tips of his ears turned red. Very rarely did he ever blush. The sight made her grin.

"Maybe," came his curt reply.

Annie barely let him finish before she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and brought her mouth up to his again.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

The memories hurt. Everywhere he turned, everything he did, she was right there, and he was reminded of some time or of some place where they had been together. He had been content. She had been happy. Too soon it had all been taken away, but it had been what Jacob had wanted, and he had not hesitated in following the commands he had been given. For that reason, he had never been able to find it in himself to regret the choice he had made.

Until now.

Ever since had had been made aware of her existence, his mind had been constantly whirling with memories of their past. It was as if she was in his own soul tormenting him. She was constantly there. His thought were muddled, and if there was one thing Benjamin Linus hated, it was having a clouded mind. He couldn't think that way. And he needed to be able to think, quick and efficiently, if they were all going to survive.

He blinked and suddenly a rifle was pointing at him and she was holding it in her hands. It was the memory of only a week ago. A week ago he had seen her, and he hoped that he would never see her again. In an other life, maybe, but she was out for blood – his blood! – It would be foolish to go and seek her out. That's why he knew they were safe here, on the second island. There was no way she could transport herself over here. It was when they returned to the mainland that the real preservation of his life would have to be put into effect. He had no intention on leaving the Barracks unless it was absolutely necessary.

A knock on the door and Tom entered. "Ben, everything's in place whenever you're ready."

He turned around and nodded in reply. "Alright. Thank you, Tom."

"You okay?"  
>"Yeah, why?" Ben suppressed the desire to roll his eyes. When was everyone going to stop asking him that damned question?!<p>

Tom shrugged. "Just ever since you came back from the survivor's camp, you seem...different." He chose his words carefully.

"I can assure you I'm fine," Ben gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes but he was grateful when Tom just nodded and left the room. Ben turned back around to look at one of the televisions. "Well, then," he hummed to himself, "I will be along presently, Mr. Ford." Then, he walked out of the room and down the many twisting halls and corridors. Ben hoped that this current mission would be enough to distract him from his thoughts.

Upon coming out into the courtyard where the cages were, he saw Sawyer stand up and look at him, before whispering something incomprehensible to Kate who was locked up across from him.

"Lunch all ready?" Sawyer asked him snidely and Ben approached the cage, stopping just short of the puddle he knew Sawyer wanted him to step in. Honestly, if these two idiots hadn't found out they had security cameras watching their every move and listening to their every plan and idea on how to escape, Ben had given them way too much credit.

"What is your weight?" He wasted no time in asking. He was in no mood for Sawyer's crap.

"What?"

"What is your weight?" He asked more forcefully.

Sawyer just groaned. "180, give or take."

Ben nodded. "And how old are you?" He took another teasing step towards the puddle.  
>"32," Sawyer replied a bit too quickly.<p>

"Don't lie."

The man looked positively irritated, and Ben smirked. "35."

Ben paused as if he were thinking. "Alright. Good." Then, he stepped into the puddle and began to unlock the cage door. Sawyer quickly reached through the bars and grabbed his arm through. With his foot, the man began to pound on the button of the food dispenser. He continued to pound and pound. But his plan failed.

"What did you do?" Sawyer came really close to the bars and asked.

"We turned it off," came the simple reply before Ben brought up the baton he had been holding in his hand and hit Sawyer hard on the skull. The man shouted in pain and fell to the ground, giving Ben enough time to open the door and pick Sawyer back up before the man could even react. Another whack of the baton. Sawyer shouted again. Ben grabbed the man by the shoulders and threw him to the other side of the cage. Sawyer lay defeated on the ground and Ben brought his knee up and kicked the man hard in the face, watching as he passed out.

That had been too easy. But it had felt good. He had felt the power that came with putting others in their positions of submission. Ben wiped the sweat off of his forehead and stepped aside as Tom and two other men entered the cage and grabbed Sawyer. He was impervious to Kate's pleading shouts as they dragged him away. Cold and ruthless.

He was back.

On his way back through the corridors he passed Alex. "What are you doing here?" He asked her sharply. The last place he expected her to be was wandering through the halls of the station. He expected her to be out exploring the jungle or searching for Karl. But she seemed to be standing exactly where she wanted to be. He watched as she crossed her arms, leaned up against the steel wall, and just stared at him.

"You didn't have to beat him up," she spoke in a voice that was clearly disapproving. Ben's mouth twitched as he recognized those words that were so like the words Annie had said to him the day the children had left the island. Only her words had been spoken in jest. Alex's clearly were not.

"It's none of your concern, Alex," Ben reminded her in a cool voice. "Now, I'll ask you again, what are you doing here?"

Alex shrugged and pushed herself off the wall so that she could walk closer to him. "Looking for you."

"Why?" Ben was ashamed that he sounded wary, but with the way his and his daughter's relationship had deteriorated so fast in the past few months, he wasn't taking any chances. He could kill Karl with his bare hands for this, for turning his own daughter against him.

"I needed to ask you something. Where is he?" Her voice was snappish and her eyes glared at him.

"By him, I assume you're referring to Karl?" Ben shook his head. "I can't tell you that."

"Why not?!" She nearly shouted at him.

Ben groaned. He was tired of having this conversation over and over again. "Because, Alex," his voice was venomous, "I said so, and I expect you to follow my orders."

She scoffed. "Why should I? You don't even act like my dad anymore."

The words hurt him, cut through him deeply, but he refused to acknowledge the pain. He responded in a stiff and emotionless tone. "Fine. But I am still your leader. If nothing else, you still own me your respect."

"I. Don't. Owe. You. Anything." She denied, but he could see her resolve wavering. She knew she had gone too far. She owed him so much, and she could never fully repay him for all he had done. Raising her single-handedly was at the top of the list.

He laughed then, a cruel and twisted laugh. He saw his daughter shiver, but he forced the wave of regret down. So what if he frightened her? Maybe if she was scared enough she would leave this whole situation alone. But it was still Alex, so he doubted it. He stopped laughing and just stared at her. "Don't come here again, Alex." He warned her. "You may find things that you'll regret seeing. But I can assure you -" he walked up to her and tried to touch her arm but she shrugged out of his grasp – "One of those things is _not _Karl." He softened his tone just a bit then as he looked at her. "You will see him again when I think it's the right time. Until then...find some other way to waste your time."

Ben ignored the look of anger on her face as he passed by her and walked further down the hall. Alex didn't follow him. He heard her footsteps continue in the opposite direction and then all was silent.


	13. Chapter 13

_**You guysss! I got three reviews on the last chapter, and I just couldn't be happier! I wanted to thank all of you: thewhitekitten (it's lovely to have you back!), DrunkenOfficer (as always, it's a pleasure, and I'm sorry for the wait on this chapter), and thehopefulone (you're new to this story, but I hope to see you again soon! And those one shots are a really great idea!).**_

_** You may find that I jump rather rapidly through the many episodes of season 3. This is just because I want to get to a certain part of the series and the story really can't begin until we get to season 4. Spoiler: that's when Ben and Annie will meet in the present. So, bear with me as I jump through time in the next couple of chapters. Thanks!**_

_** There, now that that's done with, onto the chapter! I hope you all love it :) Let me know how much!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

__"Juliet. Did Alex ask about me?"

The woman shook her head. "No. We took her home last night. I don't know where she is now."

Ben tried not to feel disappointed. Why should he be surprised that his estranged daughter didn't care to see him the day of his surgery? He would either walk out of this room dead or alive. He was haunted by the memory of their last meeting. That was not how he wanted her to remember him. "Fine." _I don't care what happens to you._ He pushed her painful words out of his head and laid his head down. "I'm ready."

"Alright," Jack said, "I need you to count backwards from twenty." Ben felt the needle pierce his skin and the effects of the anesthesia were potent.

"20...19...18..." his eyelids closed and everyone was silent for a moment. They knew that this was a dangerous procedure and this could be the last time their leader ever closed his eyes. After a respectful moment of silence, Jack turned to Juliet.

"Scalpel," he commanded and Juliet handed him the tool. With bated breath, Juliet and Tom stood by and watched as Jack began making the incision in Ben's back.

_An hour later..._

To say that the surgery had gone anything like Ben had planned would be a complete lie. He hadn't known what to expect, but all he did know was that one hour later – due to Jack's inadequate experience with the use of anesthesia – he was coming to. The first thing he heard was the rapid beeping of the machine by his head and then he heard shouts and arguments. Close as he could tell, the surgery had not been completed and Tom sounded agitated. Juliet was nowhere in the room.

"Is it true Juliet wanted you to kill Ben?" He heard Tom ask and he had to keep from jumping in shock. Juliet? Betrayal? Kill him? He didn't know why it should surprise him. Actually, now that he thought about it, it really didn't. He should've expected it sooner.

Jack said something and then Ben chose to intercede. "Hey, that's not helping anything. Now can someone get Juliet." He needed to talk to her.

_That night..._

Things had gotten even worse from there. The dramatics had ensued. He had spoken to Juliet, purposefully failing to mention her betrayal and the punishment thereof, and instead choosing to order her to help Kate and Sawyer, who had somehow managed to escape amidst everything that had been happening, to get off the island. To be honest, Ben hadn't had much of a choice. It was either them or him. If he failed to release them, he doubted Jack would have finished the surgery and he would have been dead. With Kate and Sawyer safely off of Hydra Island and rowing their way back to the main island, Jack had agreed to complete removing the tumor on Ben's spinal cord, and now he lay safe and sound in the hospital bed, stomach down upon the mattress.

His back hurt like hell. The pain medication had worn off and he thought about calling for more, but no one was to be seen or heard in the medical facility.

Suddenly the door opened and in stepped Tom. He looked ragged and worn, no doubt from the stress of the day, and he wasted no time in pulling a chair over to the bed and sitting within Ben's peripheral view.

"How are you feeling?" The older man asked and Ben scoffed.

"Do you really want to know, Mr. Friendly?"

Tom shook his head. "I guess not." There was a split second of awkward silence before Tom began to speak again. "Ben, we have two serious problems we need to consider."

"Now?" Ben remarked dryly. "After what I went through today?"

"Afraid so, and you know it." Ben just nodded for him to continue and focused on Tom's words. Maybe then his back wouldn't hurt so much.

"First of all, before we even begin, I thought you should know Karl escaped. Got into a rowboat with the other two."

Ben frowned. "And Alex?" His heart leaped into his throat. Had she gone with them?

"She's fine. The boat wouldn't fit all four of them. She's angry though. Finally figured out what you did to her boyfriend."

Ben would have shrugged but he knew that that wasn't a good idea at the moment. "She'll get over it sooner or later."

If Tom was shocked by the man's brazen answer, he didn't show it. "Alright, then, now for the two big issues. The one being Juliet."

From the corner of his eye, Ben shot the man a look which said 'are you serious?' "There are punishments for such crimes as those she committed today, and she is as much subject to them as anyone else."

"But that means death!" Tom argued.

"I know, Tom," Ben sighed, "But these laws were created for a reason, and we cannot allow a few to be exempt from them while the rest have to follow them. We just can't."

"I thought you cared for her."

Ben was silent and Tom just nodded. "Fine. I don't like it, but you're right. And about our other problem...Kate and Sawyer are off the island, which means they're going to tell they're friends about us and where we are."

"Yes, and I've already thought about that," Ben supplied. "We need to move as quickly as possible."

"Back to the barracks?"  
>Ben nodded. "Yes. You need to get everyone prepared to leave. You, Jack, and myself will go ahead of everyone else and then the rest may follow behind us. I'm trusting in you to make sure that no trace of our being here will exist."<p>

Tom stood up. "I'll take care of it," he replied obediently and then he left.

Ben just closed his eyes and fell asleep.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

_2 years ago_...

"It's just a cold, Ben," Juliet gave him a small smile. "I don't really see why you needed to come all the way down here to get a diagnosis. The clinic's a lot closer."

Ben smirked. "Maybe I just needed an excuse to come see you." He watched as Juliet stepped back slightly and he saw a faint blush on her neck.

"That's sweet, Ben. But I think Ethan would've been just as pleased to see you." Her mouth quirked upwards as she teased him and he couldn't help but chuckle as he watched her turn away from him and wash her hands in the sink.

"But I wouldn't have been as 'pleased' to see him, as you put it." Ben watched as her shoulders tensed. He admired everything about her. Her golden locks, the supple curve of her neck, the tilt of her chin as she looked down, the way her skin turned bright red if he said just the right thing. He loved watching her blush.

Juliet turned back around and gave him a smile, though she seemed uneasy. "Thank you, Ben, but I'm nothing special. Just a damned fertility doctor who can't solve the damned deaths of these women and their babies." Though she only muttered the last part, he could hear the anger in her voice and he shook his head.

"You're doing the best you can, Juliet, and I am confident that you will find what you're looking for."

"How?"

"Because that's why we hired you. We wouldn't have done so if we didn't have faith in your abilities." He took three steps towards her. "Best you remember that."

She nodded her head. "I'll try."

Ben just smiled at her. "Good." There was silence for several minutes. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't comfortable either. Ben licked his lips. "Juliet, I wondered – " he stuttered and she just looked at him. "That is – if you would like to come over to my place tonight? I have a ham that's just begging to be roasted and I don't know if Alex will be home. You know teenage girls. Anyways, I would be delighted if you could join me?" He held his breath and waited for an answer.

Her eyes betrayed no emotion as she seemed to think about it. His spirit fell when Juliet shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ben, I really am, but I can't tonight. I have loads of paperwork to do." Ben could spot a lie a mile away. After all, lying was his specialty. He didn't know what hurt more: the fact that she denied him, or that she had lied.

"Well," he plastered on a sympathetic smile, "That's too bad. I hope you'll reconsider?" He cocked his head as he waited for an answer.

Again, she refused. "I just can't tonight, Ben. Perhaps some other time." He knew there wouldn't be 'some other time'. He fought back the surge of anger within him. For all he knew, she could be spending the night with Goodwin. His skin twitched and he tried hard not to scowl.

"Fine," he replied evenly before he gave a quick smile. "I best be going."

"Yes. Bye, Ben."

"Goodbye, Juliet."


	14. Chapter 14

_**I've been without internet for the last three days so that is why I've been unable to upload. I've been sitting on this chapter for four days and I'm so excited to be uploading it now!**_

_** Thanks to thewhitekitten and DrunkenOfficer for making my week with your wonderful reviews!**_

_** I love you all!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

The barracks looked exactly as they had when their inhabitants had left over a week ago. The homes were quiet and the windows dark. The Others were led by the light of the torches; Tom knelt down and punched in the code to the pylon fence, the hum from the electricity immediately coming to a halt. The men and women passed through unharmed, and they walked up from the beach and into the jungle. Home was not far away now. Four men carried Ben on a stretcher through the dense combination of underbrush and vines. He bit his tongue to keep from moaning in pain. Though they tried to be as calm as they could, walking through the jungle was not an easy task, and with each toss and turn and bounce, a jarring pain would shoot up Ben's back.

The sight of the bungalows made the men and women cheer. Hydra Island was not their home and it lacked the amenities that the barracks provided. With warm showers, good food, and electricity, it was no wonder that they all seemed to rush to their homes as fast as their feet could carry them. Good thing too, because Ben was just itching to finally lay in a soft bed and rest his weary body. Traveling had not been the wisest choice, even Jack had warned against it. But they had had no choice. With Sawyer and Kate having escaped back to the mainland, the other survivors would waste no time in finding a way to cross the ocean and rescue their beloved surgeon. The Others were strong but there would have been bloodshed, one thing that Ben did not desire at the moment.

Once the four men brought him to his own bungalow, they placed him inside the threshold and then they rushed to the clinic, only to return about a half an hour later with a hospital bed and a wheelchair, both of which they put into his room. The thought made Ben's mouth twist into a grimace. He hated being weak, sickly, and unhealthy. It made him feel vulnerable in ways he had never felt before. They moved to help carry him into his bedroom and his gut clenched. His pride was internally screaming and he couldn't send the men away soon enough.

Then, he was alone.

He heard Alex getting a glass of water and he hoped that she would at least come and say goodnight to him. She hadn't so much as looked at Ben since she had discovered just what measures he had gone through to keep her and Karl separated. She walked down the hall and passed his door. For one split second, she glanced at him and their eyes met. Her face turned hard as stone and she continued down the hall. Ben heard her door slam with a ferocity that he had never heard before, and, coming from Alex, that was a surprise. He winced when he heard it.

How had they ever gotten to this point? And how had he failed to screw things up so fast and terribly as he had?

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Ben emerged from the shadows and entered the encirclement of tents. It was the most recent camp the 'hostiles' had set up. With each time they moved, they came closer and closer to the Dharma Initiative. Now, they were very close to the boundary line, the pylon fence was the only thing separating them from the men, women, and children on the other side. Of course, the fence wasn't a problem anymore. They knew the code, thanks to the newest member of their group, but they were still waiting patiently. Now, was not the moment to act. They had to be patient.

His thoughts briefly flickered to Annie who was within the barracks. It was nearly eleven at night. She would be in bed fast asleep by now. But Ben had been called by Widmore to fulfill a certain mission: kill an insane French woman who was a menace to the Island. The moment Ben had found out about the child, though, he had been unable to do it (something he refused to reflect on at the moment), which was how he had ended up back here with said child in his arms and a prayer on his lips. He hoped Charles would understand.

With bated breath, Ben stepped before them. Charles eyed him. "Well? Did you do it?"

"We had a-" he hesitated, "Complication." Just then, the child decided to wail and all eyes turned to the bundle he was holding in his arms.

Charles' brows furrowed. "I'm sorry...is that a...baby?" It was very quiet all of the sudden and Ben's heart thumped wildly in his chest. This man was their leader, and he seemed displeased. Which Ben had expected. "Your orders were to exterminate that woman," Charles' tone was hard.

"Why? She's no threat to us. She's insane, Charles. Besides," he licked his lips, "You didn't tell me she had a child. What was it I was supposed to do?"

"Kill it," came the ugly response and Ben felt sick to his stomach.

He shook his head and argued back. "It's not an 'it', this is a child."

Charles looked to Richard and then stood up and approached Ben. "You might find this difficult to understand, Benjamin," he began, "Every decision I've made has been about protecting this island."

"Is killing this baby what Jacob wants?"

There was silence and Ben knew the answer. He waited for Charles to respond. He waited for Richard to intervene, but there was nothing. No one moved to help him. Even young Ethan had taken a step back and out of Charles' view. He licked his lips and then held the child out to Widmore. "Then, here she is. You do it." His eyes never blinked as he stared at his leader. He could see the flicker of surprise on Charles' face as the man realized the tables had been turned.

Within seconds, Charles just smirked. He turned away and walked into his tent, pulling the flap behind him. Ben had angered the man, this much he knew, but he wasn't afraid, and nor did he feel guilty. How could he when he looked down and saw the pink face of the baby staring up at him? Her brown eyes found his and he shifted so that she was once again cradled in his arms.

When Ben looked up, he found that everyone was staring at him, even Richard. The man seemed shocked by the turn of events. He seemed shocked by the sight of the child being held in Benjamin's arms. But no one said anything. No one shouted or protested. And it was Ben who once again broke the silence, this time speaking to Richard. "I'll keep her," he said in a quiet voice and the man only nodded. There was nothing more to say. But Ben's life was about to change forever.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

Juliet knocked on the door, and when there was no answer, she walked on in. She didn't spare a second glance around the place as she walked through the living area and down the hall. She stopped when she reached Ben's door and she knocked once.

"Tom told me I needed to come in and check on you," she spoke softly as she entered the room.

He smirked and replied in a dry tone, "Well, thanks for caring, but it won't be necessary. Besides, isn't Jack my surgeon?"

Juliet closed the door and stepped closer, but she stayed a good distance away from the bed. "Tom took Jack to his bungalow to get settled."

"Fine. Then let's get on with it." He tried to sit himself up, but it was futile and ended with him gritting his teeth to fight back a groan. Without saying a word, Juliet walked up to him and helped him. He smiled tightly in thanks and then was silent.

"On a range of one to ten, how much pain do you have?"  
>"I just had a major surgery, Juliet. What do you think my pain level is at?"<p>

Juliet scowled at his tone. "You can continue to be a complete ass, Ben, or you can just shut up and let me do my job." She watched as his eyes widened in shock. She had never spoken to him like that before.

"Alright, Juliet, alright," he replied calmly, "But you must understand my contention. Not everyone is comfortable with letting their would-be killer become their doctor."

Her eyes flashed in anger. "Can you blame me? Can you honestly blame me, Ben, for wanting you dead?"

"Yes, Juliet, I-"

"You killed him, Ben! And you just expect me to forget about that? To just move on and act like it never happened? Like everything is fine?"  
>"I didn't kill him, Juliet! Ana Lucia did."<p>

"But that's what you wanted, and that's exactly what you knew would happen!"

Ben let out a loud sigh of frustration and strove to maintain calmness, or at least the illusion thereof. "Juliet, is this what we've been reduced to? One minute we're exchanging pleasantries, and the next we're ready to tear each other's throats out. I don't want that. I never wanted that."

Juliet just nodded. "Fine, if you want me to act as if everything is normal, I will. But don't ask me to like you."

"I'm not asking anything, and you don't have to pretend with me."

"I think I do."

She crossed her arms and just stared at him until the hardness of his eyes grew to be too much for her to bear and she had to look away. "...thank you by the way. I know I should be dead by now."

"Don't thank me, Juliet. It was Jack who bargained for your life. It would seem that you'll finally be getting off this island after all." She looked at him in confusion. He sighed and began to explain. "In exchange for finishing the surgery, Jack wanted me to let you go free. I believe the submarine leaves at the end of the week."

"I'm going home?" She echoed in disbelief. Ben merely nodded and Juliet decided to leave the matter alone for now. Her heart was soaring, but he looked miserable. "So..." she began awkwardly. "How's Alex?"  
>Ben scoffed. "I've lost all hope, Juliet. She hates me."<p>

"You tend to have a habit of doing that," she replied coldly. Ben's eyes grew sad but she didn't even try to rectify what she had said.

"Perhaps you are right. But she's still my daughter. Why can't she see that what I did was for her own good?"

"Because attempting to brainwash her boyfriend was really the best way to handle the situation," she replied sarcastically.

"Thank you for your opinion, Juliet." His voice was dripping with an equal amount of sarcasm. Then, he looked down at the comforter and began to fiddle with it. "Never mind, Juliet. You honestly believe I'm getting what I deserve. You can leave now." It was silent for a moment and he thought that Juliet must have actually left, but when he looked back up, he saw that she was still standing there. Her eyes were hard, her arms were crossed, and she seemed to be deep in thought. Ben just stared at her.

"You can do nothing but give her time," Juliet finally spoke, "And hope that she has it in her to actually forgive you for all the pain you've caused her."

"She's nothing like she used to be." He sighed. "It's like she's not even my daughter anymore."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

_Three days after the Purge..._

Richard knocked on the door and when he heard a shout to enter he did so without hesitation. What he saw shocked him. The entire bungalow was in utter chaos. He had never seen the place look so neglected. And this was Ben's home. The man prided himself on his neatness.

"Ben?" He called as he stepped cautiously threw the mess of pillows, clothes, and nappies. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in here!" Came a voice. It was snappish and Richard could sense the irritation. He walked down the hall, toward the source of the sound, and into a room that was painted a pale pink. The room was bare, save for a few items that they had been able to salvage from the empty bungalows. There was a crib and a dresser, a changing table and a rocker. And in the center of it all stood Ben, his back to Richard. Alex was draped over his shoulder and he was rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Shhh," Ben whispered but his voice was far from gentle. "Shh, can't you just sleep? I've fed you, washed you, changed you twice. What else could you possibly want?"

Richard nearly laughed, but he managed to contain it. "Having trouble, Ben?"

Ben whirled around and frowned. "She hasn't slept for nine hours. I don't know what's wrong with her."

"Here, let me take her," Richard held out his arms and Ben relinquished the child to him. It was a matter of minutes before Alex finally settled down. First, she stopped her screaming, and then, she began to coo. When Richard finally placed her down in the crib, the child's eyes began to droop until she started snoring softly.

Ben let out a barely audible sigh of relief, lest he wake her up, and then he walked out of the room and down the hall, not even caring to pick up the stray items he had thrown on the ground in his distress. When Richard finally got a good look at the man's face, he saw big gray circles under his bloodshot eyes. He looked exhausted and his entire frame seemed to tremble. "Want some tea? I'm making some tea." Ben reached for the tea kettle and filled it with water. But when he reached for the mugs, they both slipped from his shaking fingers and crashed upon the counter top. "Damn," he swore, but he didn't even try to pick the broken pieces up.

Richard observed him and gave him a strange look. "You alright, Ben?"

"Of course I'm all right," he snapped back, "Just tired."

"You seem...frazzled." It was true. Ben never cracked under pressure, that was one thing Richard had admired about him. But he was visibly shaking, and he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. Richard frowned. "Is this about your father?" He asked. Ben's head shot up.

"Of course not. It's never about him," he spat out.

Richard nodded. "It's alright to feel this way, Ben. It's only been three days since all of that happened. But they needed to be purged so that a new generation could arise and rule the island. They all, including your father, needed to die."

"Spare me the lecture, I've heard it all before." Ben sighed tiredly. "Why are you here?"

"To see how you are getting along with Alex."

"Well," he sighed again, "I guess it's as it should be expected, considering I've only been taking care of her for three weeks now."

Richard nodded. "Do you need any help?" Ben just shook his head, some of his old stubbornness returning. The tea kettle whistled and Ben grabbed a new set of mugs, this time without breaking either of them. He didn't look up at Richard when he handed him his cup of tea, and the man knew that something was still bothering him. "Ben..." he ventured cautiously, "Besides your father, was there anyone else that you lost? Anyone you cared about?"

"No," came the all-too-sharp reply and Richard decided to drop the topic.

"Alright," he replied softly. He took a sip of tea and gulped it down quickly when the burning hot liquid scathed his throat. "But it's only natural to grieve, Ben. A life lost is never something to take lightly. If you didn't grieve, then I would question what kind of a man you were."

Ben was silent and just nursed his cup. He thought of telling Richard everything that was on his mind. Alex had never cried this much when _she _had been here. He scrubbed his worn face with his hand.

Richard noticed how much older the man looked than his tender age of twenty-four. He frowned again and pushed aside his cup of tea, left unfinished. "Well," he gave a reassuring smile. "I have other business to attend to, other people to see. If you need anything, you just let me know. Okay?" Ben nodded his thanks and Richard got up.

The moment the door closed, Ben felt a split second of relief. Then, he heard Alex start to scream all over again. As he groaned and began to walk back down the hall towards her room, he couldn't think of anything else that he wanted to do more than to just scream himself.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thank you thewhitekitten and DrunkenOfficer for your reviews, and thank you Twinkiefairy for favoriting my story! I hope it meets your highest expectations and beyond!**_

_** Also, if I haven't done this already, then I'm doing it now. If you haven't checked out thewhitekitten's story "If I Never Knew You" then you really must. It's a Ben/OC story that has me constantly sitting at the edge of my seat. I swear I bite my fingernails twice as much when she's in between updates!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

__It had been two weeks since Annie had had her first encounter in twenty years with Benjamin Linus. Since then, she had _finally _begun to calm down. The hair didn't prickle on her neck every time she heard movement out in the jungle. She didn't worry that every time she ventured out she would run into him again and then she would be prematurely faced with the need to take her revenge. She had sometimes been so worried that he would just emerge from the underbrush and kill her before she would ever have the chance to do the same to him.

As much as she hated to admit it, Annie's thoughts had scarcely focused on anything but the enigma that was Ben for the past two weeks. How he had changed in twenty years, the strange lilt of his voice that remained unchanged, the coldness of his eyes, the hard lines around his mouth and forehead. Every time she thought of the first moment she had laid eyes on him in so many years she got sick to her stomach with a feeling that was so very close to anxiety. She had had dreams of what that meeting would be like, and it hadn't been anything like what she had expected.

All of the sudden, she heard the quick succession of twigs snapping and she knew that something or someone was fast approaching her. Annie quickly grabbed her rifle and held it in her arms, pointing it in the direction of the sound.

But the moment Danielle appeared from the underbrush, Annie sighed a quick sigh of relief and placed her rifle down. "What has you in such a hurry?"

Danielle put her hands on her knees and bent over as she tried to catch her breath. Her thick French accent sounded even deeper in her breathlessness. "I came to tell you," she gulped for air, "Your chance has come."

"My chance?" Annie asked, puzzled. "What do you mean?" Danielle gave her a pointed look and Annie felt her heart catch in her throat. "Ben?" The woman nodded as she took a large swallow of water from her canteen. "Where?" Annie tried to keep her voice from shaking, whether from excitement or nervousness, she didn't know. Either way, she knew that she would hardly be afforded this opportunity again. It was time to take her revenge.

"North, about a fifteen minute run from here."

"So close?" Annie furrowed her brows as she slung her rifle around her shoulder. "Why is he so far into the jungle?"

Danielle shrugged. "I don't know. But he has another man with him. I heard Ben say something to him."

"What?"

"He said that he had something to show the man. Said it was where he came from."

"The pit," Annie answered immediately. She knew it was close, and it was the only thing that made sense. "They must be close to it then."

Danielle nodded. "I would say that they're there already. If you hurry, you could just make it in time."Annie nodded and got ready to run, but Danielle stopped her with an arm. "Good luck."

Annie grinned and took off running. Now was the time to take her revenge. Now was the time to fulfill her destiny. Now was the time to kill Benjamin Linus.

0o0

Annie knew where the pit was. She had stumbled upon it one day in her search for food, and the sight had made her scream. The bodies of so many people, she recognized their Dharma uniforms, and she knew that these were friends that she had known for years. Her family. She hadn't had a strong enough stomach or resolve to dig through the pile of hundreds to find her mom and her dad, but she knew that they must be there. Somewhere. By the looks of things, the bodies had been laying there in the heat and mugginess of the jungle for about a weak. The flesh was rotten and mostly eaten by flies and gnats. The smell of putrefaction made Annie throw up right there. In a mix of tears and vomit, she had mourned the loss of her entire people. 

She wondered if Ben would be there when she got to the pit, or if fate would be so cruel as to allow her to miss her chance yet again. But she didn't have to ponder long. In that instant she heard the sound of gunfire. One shot and her heart plummeted. She remembered Danielle's words and hoped to everything that was holy that the other man hadn't also noticed what a manipulative bastard Ben was and had taken his chance to kill him. She grit her teeth. If Ben was already dead...

Annie took off running towards the pit as fast as she could, but when she heard footsteps coming towards her she quickly dug her heels into the ground to stop. Whoever it was, whether it was Ben or this mystery man, someone was coming towards her. She unslung her rifle from her back and raised it up. She tried to unclench her muscles, but she only tensed up more as the man came closer and closer.

Then, she got a view of the person. It _was _Ben! The first thing she noticed, oddly enough, was that he was dressed in different clothes than the last time they had met. He was dressed in the way she remembered. The second thing was that he was walking with the use of a cane and he was limping. In his other hand was a pistol, the same one she guessed he had used to shoot the unlucky man.

In a moment, he looked up from the ground and saw her standing there. His eyes widened with shock. Annie was standing a mere ten feet away and he had never even noticed.

"Hello, Ben," she called out and unlocked the safety on her gun. "I knew we would meet again. I just didn't expect it to be so soon."

He visibly stiffened; even from ten feet away, Annie could see that. She just wished she could know what was going on inside his brain at that moment. His eyes betrayed nothing.

"Annie," came his simple reply.

"Drop the gun please, Ben." He did as she asked without hesitation. Using the head of her rifle she motioned to his cane. "What happened?"

"There was a tumor on my spine. I had it removed."

Annie tried to hide her surprise. Ben had had cancer? Why did that make her gut twist so uncomfortably? "I thought no one could get cancer on the island?" She asked to keep herself distracted. It shouldn't matter to her that he had cancer.

Ben just shrugged. "I thought so too."

Why did he seem so abominably calm and collected?!

"I assume you expect to kill me?"

"Right here, right now," Annie replied in a hard tone and ignored her trembling hands as she raised the rifle to point it at his head. She took slow steps towards him, inching closer and closer. She had never killed before. Well, she had killed animals, reptiles, birds, but never another human being. She ignored the nausea that was climbing from her stomach to her throat. She felt as if she would throw up at any moment. Annie tried to focus on Ben. _This _was Ben. The man who had killed all of her people and who had left her for dead. Her eyes hardened and she prepared to take the shot. He didn't so much as flinch. "Goodbye, Benjamin." She closed her eyes and wrapped her finger around the trigger.

"Wait!" She heard him shout and when she opened her eyes, she saw his blue ones staring back at her. "You can't shoot me!"

Annie scoffed. "And why is that?"

"Because..." he licked his lips, "...because if you do every man, woman, and child on this island will die."

"You're not that irreplaceable, Ben."

"No, I mean it," he pressed. "People are coming to this island, people with plans to kill everyone here. I'm the only one that knows what to do. Kill me, and you won't just be taking one life, but you'll sacrifice hundreds more."

Annie frowned. "How do I know that you're telling the truth?"

Ben just shook his head. "You don't."

Annie had a choice. She could kill him or not. Ben was a liar. More than once she had fallen for his lies and it had cost her everything. But what if, by some miracle, he was actually telling the truth? What if there were actually people coming to this island? Could she really bear to have all of that blood on her hands? Deep down, Annie wasn't willing to take that risk. Slowly, she lowered her rifle. "Fine. But if you're lying to me..."

"I'm not," he insisted.

"I _will_ kill you, Ben. Don't think that this has saved you forever."

He smirked and she hated him for it. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Now what?" She gritted her teeth. Once again, he had somehow managed to squirm back into the position of authority.

"Now we go back to my people and warn them." He walked passed her and in the direction of what she supposed must be his camp.

She stopped him with her arm. "What makes you think I'm coming with you?"

"Because you'll want to keep your eye on me," he replied calmly. "So that you can kill me." The calmness with which he stated that left her blood running cold. He didn't fear her at all, or what she could do to him. She could shoot him in the back of the head at that exact moment and he would be none the wiser. But somehow he _knew _she wouldn't, leastwise not now. Annie just scowled and followed him.

Her plan for revenge hadn't gone quite the way she had planned.

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_** I know that there were no flashbacks in this chapter, but I really wanted to keep it going at a fast pace, and I felt that a flashback would have interrupted the direness of this chapter. I hope ya'll forgive me! :) Don't worry, we'll see more Annie flashbacks in the future.**_

_** Also, is it really corny that I was listening to "Who Wants To Live Forever" by Queen while writing this? I almost feel like this is Ben's anthem, considering any day could be his last the way everyone is hell-bent on seeing him die! :P**_

_** !LOVE YOU ALL!**_


	16. Chapter 16

_ One week ago..._

In eight days so much had happened to Ben that looking down the end of an insane woman's rifle had not been the strangest happenstance of the past week.

Since their arrival back at the barracks from Hydra Island, a whirlwind of events had taken place for the Others. For starters, three of the Oceanic 815 survivors found their way to the barracks: Jarrah, Austen, and Locke. How they had managed to get over the pylon fence was beyond even Ben's imagination. Austen and Jarrah attempted to break Jack free but the surgeon refused to return to the beach with them; meanwhile, Locke wasted no time in finding Ben.

To make a long story short, Locke blew up the submarine, with a subtle act of manipulation on Ben's part. With no chance off of the Island, Jack and Sayid escaped. Ben tasked Juliet with the responsibility to earn Austen's trust and infiltrate the survivor's camp. And then, the Others packed up their belongings and left the barracks before the rest of the survivors could attack them.

But it didn't all end there. No, the madness was just about to begin.

Locke chose to come with them. Ben set up a test for John through the capture and imprisonment of John's estranged father. Ben told Locke that he could only become one of them if he killed his father and took revenge for all of the harm the man had caused him.

Two days later, John Locke returned to their makeshift camp in the jungle with his dead father slung over his shoulder. He wasted no time in making the surprising demand to see Jacob, which then led to Ben leading John across the Island to a small, remote cabin, neglected by time. Of course, Ben knew that Jacob wouldn't be there, after all, he had never seen Jacob with his own eyes, but he still put on a good show for John.

But John actually _heard _Jacob say something, which was the strange part, since Jacob wasn't there. And that caused Ben to become jealous and angry. He had taken John to the Purge pit and had shot him, watching without remorse as the man fell down into the pit and landed on the carcasses of the dead. Ben asked him what Jacob said and John told him. _Help me._ That's what John was able to hear, but Ben wasn't.

Ben left John for dead and began the long trek back to the camp.

That's when he ran into Annie. Again.

_ "Hello, Ben," she called out and unlocked the safety on her gun. "I knew we would meet again. I just didn't expect it to be so soon."_

_ "Annie," came his simple reply._

_ "Drop the gun please, Ben." He did as she asked without hesitation. Using the head of her rifle she motioned to his cane. "What happened?"_

_ "There was a tumor on my spine. I had it removed."_

_ "I thought no one could get cancer on the island?" _

_ Ben just shrugged. "I thought so too. I assume you expect to kill me?"_

_ "Right here, right now," Annie replied in a hard tone and raised the rifle to point it at his head. She took slow steps towards him, inching closer and closer. Her eyes hardened and she prepared to take the shot. He didn't so much as flinch. "Goodbye, Benjamin." She closed her eyes and wrapped her finger around the trigger._

_ "Wait!" He shouted."You can't shoot me!"_

_ Annie scoffed. "And why is that?"_

_ "Because..." he licked his lips, "...because if you do every man, woman, and child on this island will die."_

And now he was escorting her back to the Others.

Fate was not on his side.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

"Ben, who's this?"

"She's merely one in a long list of people who are out for my blood. Pay no attention to her."

Richard actually chuckled and turned to Annie. "So what was it he did to you?"

"Exterminated my entire people," Annie replied hotly and Richard seemed taken aback.

"Actually, Annie," Ben explained, "You're looking at the man who ordered their execution. Small world, isn't it?" He mused.

Now it was Richard's turn to gape. "Ben...I don't understand. Who is this?" Instead of replying, the man just limped away in the direction of his tent. Annie began to follow, refusing to let him out of her sight. It was Richard who called after him. "I thought you said everyone died in the Purge!"

"All but one, I'm afraid." Ben could hear Richard following him and he sighed. He knew that there would be an inevitable amount of explaining to do, and that there just wasn't enough time.

He lifted the flap to his tent and walked in, crossing over quickly to his desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a case of bullets, and then he shoved it into his pocket. "Richard, I understand you have questions, but we really have no time to answer them. We're all in danger. You need to lead everyone here to the temple, and I have to get to Jack before-" Just as Ben was trying to exit the tent, Richard stepped in front of him and crossed his arms.

"Jack can wait."

"No, Richard, he really can't."

"Why?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "Because there are people coming to this Island, and if I don't get to Jack, Lord knows he'll be stupid enough to actually make contact with them, and then we're all as good as dead."

For a moment it seemed Richard was actually going to step aside, but then he looked Ben hard in the eyes. "Well then, Ben. I guess you better talk fast. Because I want to know who she is," he pointed a finger at Annie, "And where the hell she came from. I was made to believe that everyone died in the Purge."

"And I told you," Ben bit back, "That she was the only one who survived."

"You're telling me this woman survived in the jungle, alone, for almost twenty years?" Richard looked as if he didn't believe him.

Ben just shrugged. "Ask her yourself."

Richard raised a pointed brow at Annie and she nodded.

"I did."

"How?"

Annie just shrugged. "Don't ask me. I just took it day by day. I had no choice."

"But how did you escape? Everyone was supposed to be inside that village. No one knew we were coming, no one was supposed to leave."

"I'm sorry I interfered with your plans," she replied dryly. "But someone let me escape, when perhaps he should've just let me die." Annie gave a pointed look at Ben and Richard's eyes widened. Once again, he turned to the man standing in front of him, and it was Ben who was now on trial.

"You?" Richard's voice betrayed his surprise. "You let her go?" Ben's silence and hard stare were confirmation enough. "You disobeyed me."

Ben sighed. "Richard-"

"There was a reason we agreed that there would be no survivors!" Richard shouted. "It was so that this-" he motioned to Annie "-would never happen!"

"I'm handling it." Ben gritted his teeth as Richard just scoffed.

"Really? Because this woman's out for _your _blood, and _you _haven't even done anything about it yet. Why?"

"I don't understand."

"Why, Ben? Killing never mattered to you before. When you had a threat, you exterminated it. Simple as that. So, why-" Richard paused, and Ben's eyes widened as he realized Richard had finally pieced it all together. He closed his eyes and waited for the accusations to come. "Oh, I see. _This _is the woman you spoke of, the woman you 'cared' for. Isn't she? She's the one you lost."

Ben had gone surprisingly pale. "Shut up," he growled and turned away.

"So, what then, Ben? You decided to let her go, out into the jungle, and hoped that she would just die? But then, it wouldn't be your fault, would it? No. She would be just one less life whose blood you wouldn't have on your hands."

Quick as lightening, Ben had whipped around and raised the gun in his hands. It was pointed straight at Richard's head. "I said _shut up._" His hand was visibly shaking and his face was still pale.

"You can't bear the guilt of what you've done, Ben. To her. That's why you have a gun pointed at me. I know you won't kill me."

"He's right, Ben. Put the gun down." He heard the click of the rifle and knew Annie had raised hers at him.

"Annie," he gritted his teeth, "You don't want to do that."

She scoffed. "Why not?"

"Because this is my camp, my grounds. You kill me, and they'll have your blood faster than you could even think."

"I think I'm fine with that."

"And don't forget the people coming to this island. If you think Richard can save all of us, you're wrong. I'm the only one who knows why they're here and how to stop them."

"You know what I think, Ben? I think you're lying, and I'm about to call your bluff."

Ben shook his head. "Ask Richard." In turn, Richard nodded, signifying that all Ben said was true. Ben was relieved when Annie lowered the rifle and he heard her sling it over her shoulder. She had no choice, and fortunately, she had seen it that way.

Ben did the same with his gun and lowered it from Richard's forehead. The man didn't look at all fazed, while Ben still looked sick to his stomach.

"You have a group of survivors to catch," Richard said before he exited the tent. Ben turned around to look at Annie.

"So, are you coming or not?"

"Hell, yeah."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Are you coming or not?" Ben called out to her.

"Hold your horses, Benjamin Linus," she scolded, "I need to get my books."

"Forget your books. I've got something to show ya."

She didn't think she had ever seen him so excited, and it thrilled her enough to actually leave her books behind. When she finally reached him, she frowned. "What are my students going to think if they see their teacher leaving the school without any of her things?"

He saw that her frown was clearly fake and he just scoffed. "Like they'll actually care."

"I know," she said, her mouth finally twisting into a smile. "I just needed to come up with some reason to scold you."

"Scold me? For what?"

"For dragging me away so early."

Ben shrugged. "At least I waited until school was out."

"Yeah," she teased, "_One minute_ after it was out."

"I still waited."

Annie laughed and grabbed onto his arm. "So, where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise," was his simple reply, but Annie noticed that he was trying to fight back a smile.

For the rest of the way they just walked in silence.

At nineteen, Annie had become the youngest teacher the Island had ever had, and she had held the position for close to three months now. Ben had teased her when he had first learned of her new job. Which, in turn, had led to her teasing him about his crappy employment as a janitor. Some part of her had felt that she had actually hurt him, but he was Ben. He always seemed so impervious to pain. Still, they hadn't really talked in a whole week. Annie had just decided to go and apologize when he had shown up at the school house. Maybe he wasn't hurt after all.

It was a long walk. Several times Annie wondered where Ben could possibly be taking her, and whether he had, through unfortunate means, gotten lost, and was just too proud to admit it. But just as she was about to buck up and ask him, they emerged from the thick jungle and onto what appeared to be a small cove on the edge of the Island. For miles and miles, blue ocean was all they could see, and the sun felt so good as it kissed their faces.

"Ben, how did you find this place?" She asked in amazement.

"Just stumbled upon it one day. I thought you'd like it." He looked at her with big, questioning eyes, and she grinned in response.

"It's beautiful! Does anyone else know about it?"

Ben shook his head. "Not that I know of. The trail leading here is pretty overgrown and looks like it hasn't been used in several years."

They sat down at the edge of the cove, on a bed of rocks, far away enough from the tide so that they wouldn't get wet. They just sat, in harmonious silence, because they didn't have to speak. They just watched the sun as it fell lower and lower in the sky. The clouds became blood orange in color and the splendor of it was enough to make Annie wish that this moment could last forever.

She scooted closer to Ben and laid her head on his shoulder as she sighed in contentment. "I love you," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear. She felt him tense beneath her. Annie raised her head just a bit so that she could see his face. "I've just never told you that before." And without saying anything else she rested her head back on his shoulder.

Ben just nodded and remained silent, allowing himself to lay his head on top of hers.


End file.
